one...two...three!!

Three days before 2005. Can't believe it, time flies like a rocket. Last year, I spent New Year Eve with my girlfriends at Sommerset Apartment. It was great, full of laughs and tears(of course). I remember one of my bestfriend, Tia, exactly at 12.00 am opened the window and scream, "Goodbye 2003, welcome 2004. Hope this year will be better for all of us!" True, we all hopes that 2004 would bring much much better life and happiness for everybody. But, now..I tried to turn back the time from January'04 to December'04. And so many things happened in all my friend's life, and mine.

In 2004, I left my half heart at Melbourne and back to Surabaya. With arogant, I said to the world, "I'm back and I'll get a good job here." But, from hundreads work applicants that I sent, I only got one reply. 2 months I spent everyday with nothing at home. 2 months, all those arogants melted with shamed. Luckily, I got the job now and start building my dream. Time by time past, and here I am. Tired from work, sitting in front of my PC and desperately waiting for someone to online and have a nice conversation.

And the last 5 months, so many things happened. Tears, sadness, loneliness, and dissapointment are part of my menu almost everyday. I was so depressed and lonely, then day by day, finally I can tell myself to stand up and start move on, again. Look, when everyday all you got is a bitterness, what would you do? When you feeling low and all you want just a simple hug but you can't have it, what would you do? When you can't even know what day is today cause everyday is the same, what would you say? When you can't breathe cause your heart full of someone's name, could you smile? When you missed someone so much but all you can do is nothing, what the fuck are you gonna do?

I've been waiting with patient, just for one moment when I can be in someone's arm. And so far, I've been injecting myself with one special words portion that I will see him again, one day. So now, I want to stop punishing myself and him with this love. I'll set it free, if its return to me one day, so it's mine. If not..we just not meant to be. Nite..nite, black sky.