| Thursday, July 31, 2003 |
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If love can't be a connection, why friendship also can't be happen between a broken relationship? I just sick of hiding my feeling all the time. I'm sick of pretending I don't have anybody but actually I have someone. I'm sick of keeping every single things I have inside my head. If I love someone, I want everybody know my feeling. I don't wanna hide it, I wanna show it cause I wanna everybody know that I'm not alone. Can anybody understand that? I just don't wanna lie anymore.
Anyway, I'm tired, really tired of all this pressures. I wish Naughty is here with me tonight,but I know I can't. Last song of today is Aku Bukan Pilihan by Iwan Fals. So, good night...
Aku lelaki tak mungkin menerima bila
Ternyata kau mendua, membuatku terluka
Tinggalkan saja diriku, yang tak mungkin menunggu
Jangan pernah memilih, aku bukan pilihan
Selalu terungkap tanya, benarkan kini ada
Wanita yang kukenal hatinya
Aku tak bisa memahami
Tak perlu memilihku
Aku lelaki, bukan tuk dipilih
You can burn everything that I gave to you before, but you never can't erase the memories in your life. Hope you'll get a better woman in your life. I'm sorry, I can't be what you want me to be. I just not the same person anymore. Thanks for everything. Good bye...RK. |
me at 8:51 PM
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I woke up late again this morning. Don't know what's wrong with my mobile, for some reason the alarm was off by itself. I supposed to be in the school 9 o'clock, but I woke up at 10, damn. Realised that there's no point to rush, so I was closing my eyes again. I feel not really fit today. Headache-sore throat-runny nose- and sore back. 10.30 woke up again, looked at the sky from my window then waved my hand to Duncan cause his flight take off that time. I had cereal, hot coffee and ciggy for my breakfast. I better get ready to school now. Actually I wanna stay home, but I have to force myself to keep going. Feel empty, don't know why.
Have a nice holiday,Duncan  |
me at 8:32 AM
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| Wednesday, July 30, 2003 |
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I'LL BE MISSING YOU..NAUGHTY  |
me at 9:25 PM
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Yesterday, went to school with Duncan, had a coffee then took him to the bus station. It was freezing cold but I wasn't feel that cold cause he was with me.
Onie rang me and asked me to company him to work. He came to my place about 3 o'clock, had another cup of coffee then left the house afterwards. We finished the job about 8, then bought some pizza for our dinner. So hungry and cold. Duncan came to pick me up about 11 cause I wanna watch Bruce Almighty's dvd in his place. Anyway...felt little bit sad cause I will be lonely again soon. But, don't wanna say anything about it.
Hey...Dana's back. We met today before the class started. Had a coffee and laugh...laugh...laugh..whole day. At least, I still have her to talk to. My throat is so sore now. Maybe I smoke too much and doesn't drink much water lately. Ok..wanna cook my dinner now...
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me at 3:34 PM
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| Monday, July 28, 2003 |
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It's getting harder and harder...damn!! This final year start tearing my brain into several pieces,I guess. I know I can do it. I just don't know how to start it. Need something to push my poor brain to find some creative and briliant idea. It's raining again. I better get ready, Duncan will pick me up soon. Wanna hang out with him, before he leave this country on Thursday for the vacation to Canada. So..stress and nervous about this bloody working placement!!
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me at 7:24 PM
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| Sunday, July 27, 2003 |
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Ada sekelebat pikiran usang yang melintas malam ini, buat seseorang yang gak akan pernah bisa aku miliki, selamanya.
Somewhere out there...
Beneath the pale moon night, someone's thinking of me and loving me tonight
Somewhere out there...
Someone's saying a prayer, that we'll find one another
In that big somewhere out there
And even though I know how very far apart we are,
It helps to think we might be wishing on the same bright star
And when the night wind starts to sing a lonesome lullaby,
It helps to think we're sleeping underneath the same big sky
Somewhere out there...
If love can see us through, then, we'll be together
Somewhere out there, out where dreams come true |
me at 9:07 PM
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| Saturday, July 26, 2003 |
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 Her name is Putri Salsabilla Rahma Prawesti, born about two years ago, in the early morning of a heavy raining. We called her Billa, but I have my own nickname for her, I called her Bing-Bing, then everybody start calling her with that name too. Last time, when I rang home, my mom and my sister told me that now Bing-Bing face is looks like me when I was little. Then I look at this picture and realise..damn, she's really looks like me. Hahhaha, my sister must be think about me a lot when she got pregnant. Anyway, I can't wait for the time when I get home and meet her again. She must forget my face already, I left home about 5 months ago for the last holiday. Miss her a lot.
Cepatlah besar,Matahariku.. |
me at 11:55 AM
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| Friday, July 25, 2003 |
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Money can buy a house...not a home
Money can buy you medicine...not health
Money can buy a bed...but not sleep
Money can buy you a book...not knowlegde
Miney can buy a clock...not time
Money can buy you a good position...not respect
Money can buy you blood...but not life
Money can buy you sex...but not love
So you see, money isn't everything
---------------------taken from Girlfriend mag, August'03
If money isn't everything,so why a lot of people are so crazy about them? Never satisfied with money they have, still wanna more and more. Do everything for it, no matter what, as long as they get a money. Think that with money, they can buy anything the want in this world. Just wondering, what if in the future, we buy something not with money, but with love? Are they going to crazy about love as well? Don't know, it's just my thought while waiting for the rain to stop today. |
me at 1:16 PM
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| Wednesday, July 23, 2003 |
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When this feeling comes, our time is about to end
Leaving thick memories of togetherness
Together in peace, together in laughter and together in tears
When this feeling comes, my hope of you is endless
Like the sun shining on the earth
I keep remembering my last days with you
It seems that I welcome my new pain
And you will never know how hard I try to heal my pain
Mbak Ly sms ini semalem, waktu aku udah sembunyi dengan nyamannya dibalik selimut. Tadi pagi nemenin Duncan ke dokter sebelum kuliah. Seharian ujan nih, dingin dan bikin males aja. Mulai ngantuk dan capek, mo bobo abis gini. Badan sakit semua gara2 period yang lagi ngaco nih. Udah ah..besok mesti bangun pagi soalnya dapet kelas pagi lagi,BT. Naughty mo kerumah jam 8an pagi besok trus berangkat bareng naek train. Hope I can wake up on time tomorrow. My last song of today is Half-Life by Duncan Sheik.Lagunya enak, yang nyanyi juga enak..diliat gitu,hehehehe.Enjoy the rain tonight,Melbourne..
Maybe, I need to see the daylight
To leave behind this half-life
Don’t you see I’m breaking down
Lately, something here don’t feel right
This is just a half-life
Is there really no escape?
No escape from time
Of any kind
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me at 8:16 PM
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 "Menangislah kalo itu bisa membuatmu merasa lebih baek."
Aku masih inget benar kata2 yang pernah Rezia katakan ke aku dulu. Waktu aku lagi sedih banget dan ngerasa gak kuat menahan beban yang aku rasakan di pundakku saat itu. Kata2 itu bikin mataku semakin panas dan merah, tapi tetap aja gak ada setitik airmatapun yang keluar disana. Yang ada hanya rasa sesak yang amat sangat didalam dadaku. Kata2 itu terus2an menggema dikupingku, dan tanpa sadar aku pun menitikkan setetes airmata saja. Dan beban yang menghimpit hatiku pun sedikit terasa lebih ringan.
Sekarang, saat semua kenangan tentang masa lalu terasa begitu penuh warna untuk dikenang, aku jadi mengerti satu hal. Bahwa saat kita sedih, menangis bukanlah selalu berarti cengeng dan lemah. Dan ada saatnya dimana gak ada yang bisa meringankan kesedihan itu selain airmata. Siapa bilang cowok gak boleh menangis? Tentu aja, cowok juga butuh menangis, asal gak berlebihan. Aku lebih menghargai cowok yang gak malu mengakui pernah menangis daripada cowok yang berlagak kuat, padahal hatinya sekecil semut. Tapi kebanyakan cowok lebih memilih menutupi semua itu dengan otot bisepnya. Come on,Guys...it's okay. Be honest to yourself, it's worth more than your dick. Cause sometimes, we must get hurt in order to grow, we must fail in order to know. Sometimes our vision clears only after our eyes are washed away with tears.
So tell me, have you cry lately?? |
me at 9:27 AM
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| Tuesday, July 22, 2003 |
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Horoscope of Today:
Your interactions with coworkers and business associates are beginning to bring about the desired results. If you’ve been working toward something, now you’ll see the light at the end of the tunnel. Be careful not to make nonexistent issues into huge dramas. This tactic won’t help anyone. |
me at 9:03 AM
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| Monday, July 21, 2003 |
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Akhir2 ini lagi seneng dengerin lagunya Sheila on 7,hehehehe. Ada satu lagu yang kayaknya pas banget dikuping. Saben malem sebelum bobo mesti puter lagu itu dulu. Sambil liat langit dari balik jendela kamarku dan meluk guling, nikmat banget rasanya. Tau gak, klo ada yg nanya benda apa yg aku gak bisa hidup tanpanya, pasti jawabku," G-U-L-I-N-G"..hahahhaa. Makanya waktu berangkat kesini pertama kali, guling adalah barang yg gak boleh ketinggalan dikoperku. Abis klo gak ada guling gak bisa bobo sih, mending gak pake bantal daripada gak pake guling..hehehe.
Tadi abis JJM (jalan-jalan malam) ama Duncan. Dia ninggalin message di MSNku,ngajakin ikutan soalnya dia mo bawa si Winston, anjingnya jalan-jalan. Ya udah, bilang iya aja, lagian itung2 olahraga khan. Lumayan jauh juga, kita bertiga jalan muter2 sekitar area rumahku. Diluar,langitnya lagi bagus lho, banyak bintang2. Rada pegel juga kaki, makanya jadi ngantuk deh sekarang. Mana jempol kaki kiriku suka sakit beberapa hari ini, gak tau knapa. Udah pernah diurut ama Prima...cuman sembuh semalem,besoknya sakit lagi. Diurut juga ama Duncan, rada mendingan abis gitu, cuman klo aku jalan rada jauhan dikit, mulai nyut2an lagi klo digerakin. Well..maybe I'm getting old now, that's why my bone start to get weak. Tadi beli majalah Cleo, artikelnya banyak yg seru nih..rada2 'serem tapi mendidik' hihihihi. Iya deh..mo udahan dulu, mo nerusin baca satu artikel yg judulnya 'Girls who like boys who like Boys.' Last song of today is Takkan Pernah Menyesal by Sheila on 7. Ta..ta..
Apapun yang akan terjadi
Takkan pernah aku sesali
Bila menjalani semua denganmu
Bila memahami semua denganmu
Aku...Takkan pernah menyesal
I'll never regret anything if I have you...funetta |
me at 9:30 PM
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HOLIDAY IS OVER!!
Hari ini udah masuk kuliah lagi. Udah mesti bangun pagi lagi dan belajar lagi. Tapi hari ini, aku gak kuliah ding,hihihihihi. Khan masih hari pertama, jadi skip the class deh. Tapi tetep ke kampus, liat2 pengumuman. Karena gak ada pengumuman apa2, cuman dapet list book yg mesti dibeli semester ini, trus ujung2nya ke library juga..ngecek email dan ngeblog,hahahhaha. Kampus mulai rame lagi, library juga lumayan rame, mesti ngantri pake computernya. Tau gak, mesin fotocopy panjang banget antriannya. Gila...hari pertama kuliah udah ngopi2 material ya. Gak ketemu anak2, kayaknya gak ada yg masuk deh. Klo udah gini,jadi inget Will, kangen juga ama dia. Biasanya cuman kita berdua student paling rajin di groupku. Dana juga belum ada kabar beritanya, gak tau ada dimana dia sekarang. Kayaknya sih dia masih di Korea, gak tau kapan balik kesini...mungkin juga gak balik. Ngecek result lagi, masih tetep sama, belum ada perubahan. Ngecek punya Dana juga trus langsung miris deh ngeliatnya. Cuman lulus satu euy, laennya tewaass!! Ck..ck..ck..temen kecilku satu itu bener2 apes banget nasibnya. Ya, aku udah nyoba bantu dan ngasi dorongan banyak ke dia sejak semester pertama, tapi kayaknya dia kurang menghargai bantuanku. Makanya semester kemaren, aku gak banyak bantu dia, pengen aja ngasi pelajaran ke dia untuk berusaha sendiri. Dan hasilnya, semester kemaren cuman lulus satu. Yaa...udah, moga2 dia bisa belajar banyak dari kegagalannya itu. Udah deh ngomongin dianya, ntar disana dia kedutan mulu lagi,hehehehhe.
Mo ketemu ama Duncan jam 4an ntar ke city. Gak tau mo ngapain abis gini, makan mie aja ah..nyam..nyam. See you...
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me at 11:36 AM
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| Sunday, July 20, 2003 |
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FALLIN IN LOVE. Saat2 jatuh cinta emang saat paling enak. Males ngapa2in, maunya ketemu ama orang yg kita jatuh cintain itu mulu. Kalopun ketemu, kadang juga gak ngomong apa2 soalnya emang gak tau apa yg mo diomongin. Cuman pengen ketemu, liat2an, senyum2an, trus pulang deh. Basi banget kedengerannya ya, tapi buat aku..saat2 jatuh cinta emang paling indah. Dan baru nyadar klo udah lama banget gak ngerasain yg namanya fallin in love. Udah lama gak ngerasain pengen banget ketemu ama seseorang pas pagi2 buta. Terakhir jatuh cinta kapan ya? Taun lalu kayaknya deh, ama seseorang yang namanya gak mau aku sebutin lagi disini. Bukan apa2, cuman nama itu punya pengaruh yang gede banget di aku. Semalem, aku iseng baca lagi conversation2 kita dulu. Cuman baca satu, abis gitu dieemm laaammmmaaaa banget. Gak tau mesti gimana jelasin perasaanku saat itu, yang pasti blank aja. Abis bengong lama, trus nyadar klo aku gak boleh kayak gitu lagi. Saat2 blank dan mellow udah lewat. Udah gak jamannya lagi cengeng2 nangisin dia. Udah gak waktunya lagi inget2 dia. Belum tentu dia juga sampe segitunya ama aku. Aku gak boleh merusak kebahagiaan orang laen. Aku juga gak boleh menghambat masa depan orang laen. Trus maksain senyum dan nutup file lama itu. Diatas bumi masih ada awan. Diatas awan masih ada langit. Diatas langit masih ada angkasa. Diatas angkasa masih ada bintang. Dan dibintang itu yang akan menyimpan kenanganku ama dia selamanya. Berbahagialah..disana. Tertawalah..disana. Raihlah impianmu..disana. Senyummu tetap hidup...disini.
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me at 11:28 AM
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| Saturday, July 19, 2003 |
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Ciihuuyy..I passed almost all the subject for the last semester  I just check the result from the school website and the results already came up another 5 marks for Consumer Decision Making, Advertising Campaign Studies, Copywriting and Art Direction, E-Commerce and Managing Effective Work Relations. And I got PC( Pass with Credit) for Copywriting and E-Commerce..yippii  So happy with those two results cause I worked really hard on them. Hopefully next week, I'll get the last result for Market Research.
Then, I will get my diploma of Business in Advertising... 
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me at 11:27 AM
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| Friday, July 18, 2003 |
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Just woke up and found a questionnaires on some girl's blog. I think it's a good one to smack my brain before starting the day.
---------------HAVE YOU EVER---------------
1. Been so drunk you blacked out? ...not yet,hahahhaha
2. Missed school coz it was raining? ...I think so,but usually I skipped the class b'cause I woke up late..
3. Put a body part on fire for amusement? ...no way, what the..!!
4. Been hurt emotionally: ...yeah,life is suck sometimes 
5. Kept a secret from everyone? ...depend with the condition supply 
6. Had an imaginary friend? ...yup, when I was in kindy.
7. Cried during a Movie? ...oh yeah,if it's a sad movie, I'll come out with red eye and nose,
8. Had a crush on a teacher? ... I did
9. Ever thought an animated character was hot? ...never!!
11. Been on stage? ...yeah,I guess so
12. Cut your hair? ...I will when I get back home
-------------FAVOURITES-------------
13. Shampoo? ...Pantene
15. Color? ...brown
17. Summer/Winter? ...mmm,summer is ok,but winter's better when you have someone to cuddle with
18. Lace or satin? ...I don't give shit with these kind a thing
19. Fave cartoon Character? ...Road Runner
20. Fave Food? ...I love noddle, but basically I eat everything as long as not pork
21. Fave Advert? ... I like the funny,touching and has a deep meaning ads.
22. Fave Movie? ...Braveheart, the war movie such as Black Hawk Down and the Patriot, and comedy.
23. Fave Ice Cream? ...I love all kind a ice cream, so it's doesn't matter
24. Fave Subject? ...in high school I love art and english
25. Fave 'normal' Drink(s)? ...I love apple juice and coffee for sure
26. Fave Person to talk to? ...my sister,mbak Ly 
---------------DO YOU BELIEVE IN------------------
40. Believe in youself? ...yes I do
41. Your friends? ...some of them
42. Santa Claus? ...don't know, do I have to?
43. Tooth Fairy? ...come on,don't give me a rubbish!!
44. Destiny/Fate? ...yup, I have to, to make myself keep going
45. Angels? ...somewhat, I believe them
46. Ghosts? ...oh yeah
47. UFO'S? ...not at all!!
-----------------FRIENDS AND LIFE------------------
48. Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend? ..mind your own business 
49. Who's the loudest? ...Tia, one of my bestfriend
51. Who's the shyest? ...I'm not hang out with shy girl,hehehhe
53. Who do you go to for advice? ...again,my sister 
54. Who do you cry to? ...my bestfriend and my sister
55. You cried the most? ...last february and april, I cried like a baby..
56. What's the best feeling in the world? ...fallin in love, I guess
57. Worst feeling? ...when someone doesn't feel the same way as I do and when I'm completely alone because no one cares or understands 
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me at 10:47 AM
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| Thursday, July 17, 2003 |
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Tadi sore nonton 'Terminator 3' ama Duncan dan temen2nya. Sialan, garing banget temen2nya itu...asli gak nyambung deh omongannya. Ya, mereka juga yg udah pada kerja dibidang yg sama, dan dulu temen kuliah juga. Sempet ngerasa bego juga, tapi akhirnya aku mutusin buat masang muka cuek dan enjoy ama kegaringan omongan mereka. Tapi filmnya lumayan bagus, ada seru dan lucunya gitu. Untungnya lagi,meski rada dicuekin tapi si Naughty tetep perhatian ama aku. Kayaknya dia tau aku BT,makanya dia nanya2 mulu mastiin aku gak pa2. Kelar nonton, trus ke kantornya Duncan buat ngambil komputer. Baru sekali ini kesana,lagi2 aku ngerasa bego ngeliat alat2 komputer yg baru sekali ini aku liat. Tapi pas masuk keruangannya Duncan, kaget banget soalnya ada fotoku diatas mejanya  hehehe,jadi malu liat muka sendiri.
Pulangnya, satu temennya Duncan ada yg nganterin kita soalnya dia mo maen kerumah Duncan. Lumayanlah,jadi gak kedinginan naek train,hihihihi. Jam 10an udah nyampe rumah, langsung ngajakin Prima buat masak, laper berat nih dari siang belum makan. Bikin nasi uduk, sayuran plus manasin ayam kecap sisa kapan hari. Mmmm...nyam..nyam. Tadi siang juga sempet utak-atik blog lagi. Aku masukin games2 lucu, biar gak bosen aja. Gak juga puas nih ama blogku, rasanya kok masih garing aja. Mo bobo ah abis gini, capek juga lagian semalem kurang tidur nih. Lagi chat ama Angel nih, temen sekelas pas di EF Sby 3 ato 4 taun yg lalu. Dia di Italy sekarang, masih juga ama pacarnya yg juga guruku di EF dulu. Eh, ujung2 obrolannya ke arah si Stuart juga,hahahhaha. Stuart guruku yg cakep, yg dulu aku pernah naksir setengah mati tapi malah mentok2nya yg dapet si mbak Ly,hahahhaha. Begitu dapet info langsung sms mbak Ly ngajakin chatting. Yang tadinya diajakin chatting, alasannya capek, begitu di sms gak ada 5 menit udah online dia,huahahhahaha. Udah ah,ngantuk nih..mo bobo dulu Nite..nite...Everybody.
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me at 10:17 PM
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY,IAN.
Thanks for everything you've ever done to me. Hope you'll understand that love need time to grow. |
me at 8:48 AM
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| Wednesday, July 16, 2003 |
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I used to be afraid to hurt other people's feelings. Always try to be nice and good to them. Always follow what people's say and try to make my mind agree with all that complicated rules of culture and society. Always accept when people made me feel bad because they are better than me. But, now I stop think and care about them. It's doesn't mean, I stop being nice to others, I just stop pretending to be what I'm not. I'm sick of trying understand their feeling, but in the other hand I feel wanna puke. I'm sick of listen what people say about what is good and bad for me, and for my life. I'm sick of all the bullshits that have been stuck in my head all this times. I'm really really sick of people who pretending that they are good but actually they did a bad thing aswell.
So, now..I don't care what people's going to say about me, my life, and my past. I'll enjoy my life more, and accepting that everybody are different. Everybody has their own unique part. No need to be jealous with each other, cause what you got is what you have. Be proud of it, cause nobody will except yourself. I learned a lot lately about how to enjoying my life. Just be positive thinking, and let everything happen the way it will be. Stop worrying and expecting too much. It's just gonna hurt you anyway and make everything look tougher than the way it is. I've been sad and down a lot in the past few months, but now I'll start stand up on my feet again. There's nothing to be worry, cause I'm sure, everything that's gonna be mine, it will be mine no matter what. If I can't have it now, maybe someday I will.
Like this blog, I wanna create my own world in here. I know, maybe I hurt people's feeling when they read mine. But, what can I do. I'm not God. I'm not angel who always look nice and glowing. I just an ordinary girl who just wanna enjoy my life while I could. So, for people who feel bad after read my blog, sorry I can't be what you want me to be. Wish you can understand me more, and try to accept that people's change, and me too. When you expect less, you'll get more than what you actually want. When you accept yourself more, you'll be happier. So, leave the past behind and let time heal all your wounds. I have what I'm looking for now, so I'll enjoy it before the time's up. Dunno yet, how long it will last, but like what I said before, let everything happen cause you never know what you going to get until you have it. You also never realise what you have until you lose it.
SO,DON'T LET LIFE BRING YOU DOWN..  |
me at 4:32 PM
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Yesterday, went shopping with the guys, Prima and Fajar. Pertama ke Ikea nyari meja belajar buat Prima.Seneng banget di sana,gemes liat perabotan rumah yg lucu2. Bawaannya pengen beli semuanya deh disana. Abis gitu ke Chaddy..tapi udah kesorean. Cuman bentar soalnya udah pada tutup semua toko2nya. Tapi kita sempet beli kaos di toko yg sama. Kocak juga..ada acara tagih-menagih utang dulu sebelum bayar di kasir,hahahhahahaha. Gak jadi beli jeans deh,soalnya toko udah keburu tutup, akhirnya makan di Hungry Jack's. Trus nyuci baju deh akhirnya. Gila...baju kotor udah ampe menumpuk gitu. Nyampe rumah jam 9an malem. Bobby nelpon dan ngobrol bentar. Bel rumah bunyi, pas buka pintu, Duncan udah ada didepan pintu sambil nyengir. Yee..padahal daritadi ditelpon hpnya off, kirain dia udah bobo. Abis masuk2in baju ke lemari, trus cabut lagi deh ama Duncan.
Hari ini bangun jam 11 gara2 dapet sms dari Craig. Trus bangun, bikin coffee, dan nyalain ciggy. Semalem pas pergi ama Duncan lupa gak bawa ciggy, duh,tersiksa banget deh. Mo mandi abis gini, masih males banget keluar kamar benernya. Belum ada ide mo kemana siang ini. Mungkin mo ke bookstore sambil ngopi aja kali ato nonton. Liat ntar deh..mumpung diluar lagi ada matahari.
Have a nice day.. |
me at 8:54 AM
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| Monday, July 14, 2003 |
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yang pernah datang pergi
yang pernah tinggal menghilang
yang pernah tertawa menangis
yang pernah berjanji lenyap
yang pernah pergi mungkinkah kembali... funetta
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me at 10:45 PM
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My new digital camera. It's not the best and expensive one, but I'm glad to have it. At least, I don't have to spend money to buy film anymore.
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me at 8:21 PM
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HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY FOR ASTREE..
Hope all your dream will come true!! |
me at 6:32 PM
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All our young lives we search for someone to love. Someone who makes us complete. We chose partners and change partners. We dance to a song of heartbreak and hope all the while. wondering if somewhere and somehow, there is someone searching for us.
Quote ini bikin aku mikir, ternyata cinta itu dalem banget artinya di hidup ini. Kita selalu pengen punya someone untuk dicintai dan mencintai. Someone yang bisa bikin kita tertawa dan juga menangis. Someone yang bisa bikin kita melupakan masa lalu dan lebih optimis di masa depan. Kalo beruntung,bisa dapet someone yang bikin kita ngerasa complete, tapi kalo apes..ya sedih mulu bawaannya. Klo ngomongin sedih, jadi inget ama yang dulu2 deh. Gimana sedihnya aku waktu harus ngucapin goodbye ama orang2 yang aku sayangi dan cintai. Alasannya juga macem2. Ada yang karena ortu gak setuju, ketauan punya affair ama cewek laen, udah gak cocok, bosen, ditinggal kawin..pokoknya lengkap deh 
Dulu,aku gak peduli apa setelah putus bisa tetep temenan apa gak. Tapi sekarang, aku berharap setelah putus, masih bisa temenan. Ada sih,yang abis putus langsung mengibarkan bendera perang ama aku, tapi ada juga yang tetep mau temenan ama aku, tergantung individu masing2 sih pastinya. Ada yang aku masih suka inget2, ada yang aku berharap gak pernah kenal sama sekali. Tapi kemaren, ada salah satu mantanku yang bilang, dia gak bisa hanya jadi teman ama aku, soalnya dia gak bisa nahan cemburunya tiap kali denger ato liat aku jalan ama cowok laen. Sedih juga sih dengernya, soalnya dia orangnya enak buat diajakin ketawa dan ngobrol. Tapi aku gak bisa maksa dia untuk tetep jadi temanku klo harus ada rasa memiliki didalamnya. So, I don't know..I don't wanna think about it now.
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me at 5:20 PM
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| Saturday, July 12, 2003 |
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IT'S SATURDAY NIGHT!! 
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me at 5:06 PM
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Pagi ini kebangun jam 10 gara2 Prima ngebel2 pintu depan. Terpaksa bangun,buka pintu trus balik ke selimut lagi,hehehehhe. Semalem baru bobo jam 3an, setelah berBT2 ria sepanjang malem. Jam 11an bangun, langsung ke kitchen bikin coffee. Trus nggodain Prima yang lagi nelpon,hihihihi..pagi2 isengku suka kumat sih. Balik ke kamar lagi dan nyalain internet. Baru ngecek email bentar, bel pintu depan bunyi lagi. Prima nyuekin aja gak mo buka pintu,terpaksa buka pintu deh masih ama kostum kasurku. Eh..Naughty!!  Langsung senyum deh, meski rada tengsin ketauan belum mandi, tapi cuek aja deh..hehehhe. Dia dateng soalnya ngerasa bersalah semalem gak jadi pergi ama aku. Gak tau knapa, ama dia..aku males marah dan ngomel2in. Dia bilang aku orangnya pengertian banget,hahahhahaha...belum tau dia. Ngobrol2 bentar, trus mandi soalnya mo ngopi ama dia. Dikenalin ama satu temennya yang aku lupa namanya,hihihihhi. Semalem nelpon Tia..nomer telponnya gak bisa, nelpon Rezia..gak ada yg ngangkat, nelpon Praptie..sama juga, akhirnya nelpon Epha..dia ada,alhamdulillah. Ngobrol dan ketawa, girl's talk. Jadi kangen ngumpul2 lagi nih. Bentar lagi aku juga balik,jadi bisa ngumpul2 lagi deh. Kita buka forum ya klo aku balik ntar,jangan lupa sponsornya mesti kenceng,hehehheh 
Ujan nih,dingin. Mo cuci piring dulu deh..keburu males. Daag |
me at 12:27 PM
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| Friday, July 11, 2003 |
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My mood always terrible everytime I got my period. Grumpy..moody and really sensitive. Damn..it's not good at all. Tried to call Naughty,but his mobile is off. Don't know why, maybe he can't stand with my moody brain. Miss him tonight. Wish you were here...  |
me at 7:38 PM
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Hey..semalem buka website kampus, mo ngecek result. Belum semuanya keluar sih,cuman ada 3 result yg keluar. Buat Consumer Decision ama Law of Marketing dapet PA, not bad. Dan buat Accounting dapet DI alias Distinction,cihui...  Masih ada 5 subject lagi sih yang belum keluar resultnya, but I think I'm doing alright on those subjects. Si Prima juga barusan dapet resultnya semalem,dia lulus juga. Ya udah, semalem kita celebration ama Onie juga. Ketawa2 dikamarku ampe jam 2 pagi. Onie sempet ketiduran dikasurku, tapi akhirnya berhasil aku usir jam 2an sebelum dia ngiler dibantalku....
Mo mandi abis gini, trus ke city nemuin Duncan. Lagian udah janji mo nyariin pesenannya Fajar ama bikin duplicate kunci rumah buat Prima, dari kemaren lupa2 mulu nih. Semalem nelpon rumah, ketawa2 lagi ama mbak Ly. Heran juga, perasaan ketawa2 mulu ya kerjaanku. Duh, jempol kaki kiriku sakit nih. Udah dipijetin ama Prima sih semalem, tapi pagi ini sakit lagi. Udah ah,gak boleh manja. Cuman jempol ini, not a big deal. Have a nice day..  |
me at 9:47 AM
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| Thursday, July 10, 2003 |
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I MISS MY NAUGHTY..
I miss the way he make me feel safe
I miss the way he look at me
I miss the way he hold my hands
I miss the way he hug me
But mostly, I miss the time when I was with him
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me at 11:47 PM
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Horoscope of Today:
You’re slipping. At least that’s how it feels as you are showing more emotions now that you usually do. There’s an uncomfortable irrationality in the non-logical emotional realm, and you often steer clear of this fuzziness when you mean business. But now, you’ve started down the slippery slope and before you know it, you’ll be telling someone how much you really care.
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me at 11:30 PM
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~~ "Don't Ever" ~~
** Don't ever be reluctant to show your feelings
when you're happy, give in to it...
When you're not, live with it.
** Don't ever be afraid to try to make things better
you might be surprised at the results.
** Don't ever take the weight of the world on your
shoulders.
** Don't ever feel threatened by the future take life
one day at a time.
** Don't ever feel guilty about the past what's done
is done. Learn from any mistakes you might have made.
** Don't ever feel that you are alone there is always
somebody there for you to reach out to
** Don't ever forget that you can achieve so many of
the things you can imagine. It's not as hard as it seems
** Don't ever stop loving
** Don't ever stop believing
** Don't ever stop Dreaming your Dreams
author unknown |
me at 10:58 AM
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| Wednesday, July 09, 2003 |
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Bangun tidur, bikin coffee trus nelpon Onel bentar. Berhubung pulsanya tipis,jadi ngomongnya cepet kayak diuber setan,hahahhaha. Nyalain laptop, ternyata Duncan udah online. Akhirnya aku keluarin semua keBTanku ke dia saat itu. Jam 2 cabut buat nemuin dia di deket kantornya. Kita ngobrol sejaman di park, maen ayunan juga,hihihihi.Malu sih benernya, tapi dia maksa..ya udah,akhirnya aku nurut aja duduk diayunan dan dia dorong dari belakang. Dasar akunya yg gak romantis, ayunannya bentar doang, aku teriak2 mo nabrak tiang soalnya,hihihihi. Pas giliran dia yg maen ayunan, akunya males dorong,berat ah,hahahha. Anyway, I'm happy now, cause I know his feeling is more than I thought. I hope he's not going to hurt me again. Ntar malem mo nonton ama Duncan. Dia bilang aku mo dikenalin ama nyokapnya malem ini. Duh,jadi binun ntar ngomong apa ya. "Malem tante,saya Feby, yang suka jalan ama anaknya tante." Yeee...masa gitu,norak ah!! Ato klo gak, aku gaya preman aja kali ya. "Kenalin,Feby.Loe sapa?" Hahhahaa,ya ini malah lebih norak!! Tau ah...liat ntar aja.. 
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me at 3:39 PM
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| Tuesday, July 08, 2003 |
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BT..BT..BT!! Barusan balik pergi ama Duncan, kita ngobrol2 di mobil gitu. Tau2 pembicaraan mengalir ke mantan ceweknya dia. Pantes,dia tau banyak tentang Islam...orang ceweknya dia dulu juga Islam. Aku sih pertamanya cuek aja dengerin ceritanya dia, tapi pas aku nanya apa dia masih cinta ama tu cewek, dia ngangguk sambil menerawang gitu matanya. Huh...BT!! Emang enak dicuekin!! Ya, aku juga klo ditanyain masih cinta gak ama bapak yg satu itu juga paling bilang iya,tapi basa-basi dikit kek...gak asal to the point gitu 
Aku gak tau ini perasaan sekedar BT ato apa..yang pasti asli gak seneng aja dengernya. Mungkin aku lagi sensi aja kali ya, tapi sapa sih seneng denger cowok yg kita sayangi ternyata masih nyimpen sekelumit rasa cinta ama cewek laen. Mana barusan Ian kirim email lagi dengan isi dan tujuan yg sama, minta maap soal kemaren. Duh,udah deh...bosen banget dengerinnya. Udah ah..males nulis. Last song of today is Dear Lie by TLC. Back off,Everybody..
 TONIGHT !!
Get outta my mouth
Get outta my head
Get outta my mind
Stop puttin' words in my head
Get outta my mouth
You're nothing but trouble
Get outta my life
Get out of me
Out of me (out of me)
Out of me
Out of me lie |
me at 10:06 PM
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Daftar lagu2 yang baru aku download..kali ada yg lagi nyari lagu buat nemenin pas lagi bengong 
1. Goodshirt - Sophie (recommended)
2. Anggun - Want You To Want Me
3. Avril Lavigne - Tomorrow
4. Busta Rhymes - I Know What You Want
5. Chrisye - Seperti Yang Kau Minta
6. The Cranberries - Every Morning
7. George Michael - Desafinado
8. Imel - Aku dan Kau
9. India Arie - Can I Walk With You (recommended)
10. Oliver James - Great Story Ever Told (yg nyanyi..nyam..nyam)
11. Padi - Rapuh (recommended)
12. Pink - Feel Good Time
13. Sisqo- You Don't Know Me (recommended)
14. Sting - Until
15. Sugarbabes - Shapes
16. Sublime - Santaria (recommended)
Moga2 list ini bisa bermanfaat buat yg nyari2 lagu, ada yg lagu lama dan ada juga yg baru. Sorry, klo selera musikku rada ngaco..maklum, dollar lagi gak jelas...hahahhaha,gak nyambung!! |
me at 7:42 PM
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GET WELL SOON,ONEL |
me at 4:29 PM
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Hey..I just changed the tagboard today, so I can reply people's message when they visit my blog. That's why it's still empty, hope will be full soon. Tadi shopping ama Fajar...hahahha,seru juga shopping ama cowok, ternyata gak beda2 jauh klo pergi ama cewek kok. Benernya hari ini gak ada niatan beli apa2, cuman pas lewat Mooks shop...eh,ada sale juga. Ya udah, mampir bentar. Tau2 keluar udah nenteng kantong plastik juga,hehehhehe. Beli t-shirt ama kaos 2 biji, abis suka gak tegaan liat barang sale dicuekin aja,hahahha. Aku juga beli gelang2 lucu ama Fajar tadi, ada yg beli satu buat berdua alias patungan gitu. Bukannya apa2,cuman kebanyakan aja klo buat sendiri,makanya dibagi 2 deh. Duh,lupa bikin duplicat kunci buat si Prima nih. Yaa..gimana sih,kok lupa lagi. Semalem gak sengaja chat ama Ian. Tau gak..dia bikin aku BT aja deh  Makin hari omongannya dia makin bikin pusing aja. Ya udah,aku cabut aja gak lama setelah dia tau klo aku sebel dengerin kata2 cintanya. Pagi ini, di Yahoo udah ditungguin 4 email minta maaf dari dia. Ck..ck..ck..just leave me alone,ok |
me at 2:38 PM
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| Monday, July 07, 2003 |
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Siang ini rencananya mo daftar ikutan yoga, eh..ternyata mereka tutup klo senin. Ya udah,akhirnya ke Post Office buat ngirim kartu ulangtahun buat Ian trus naek tram balik ke arah shopping area. Masih kepagian buat balik, akhirnya mutusin buat nonton "Charlie's Angels". Abis nonton, lagi2 males pulang..akhirnya ke Sportgirl bentar. Cihuii..lagi sale!! Pilih2..nyoba2..ngaca2..done! Ke kasir sambil nyodorin 3 items, sunglasses..ring..and handbag. Tapi berhubung lagi sale,jadi ngeluarin duit dari dompet gak berat2 amat,hihihihi. Pas di tram mo balik, ternyata ketemu ama Prima..ya udah kita mutusin ke supermarket dulu beli beras. Nyampe rumah, masak2 deh kita, tepatnya Prima yg masak lauknya..aku yg masak nasinya,hahahhaha. Nyam..nyam..kenyang deh. Abis dinner, Duncan nelpon mo kerumah. Gak lama dia udah muncul depan rumah masih ama senyum dan mata berbinarnya..
Kita ketawa2..crita2..sambil baca satu artikel di majalah Cosmopolitan yg baru aku beli tadi. Lagi seru2nya ngobrol, tau2 hpku bunyi. Private number,duh..sapa ya? Akhir2 ini aku paling males ngangkat telpon klo yg muncul private number ato nomer2 gak dikenal. Soalnya Jhon udah dari Sabtu kemaren nelpon2 ngajakin ketemuan. Aku udah males banget ketemu ama dia lagi, soalnya dia bikin aku ngerasa bego banget. Dia cuman nelpon klo ada butuhnya aja, emangnya aku cewek apaan!! Ke laut aja deh!! Anyway, aku suruh aja Duncan yg jawab telponku, ternyata bener si Jhon. Hahahaha,lucu banget liat mukanya Duncan yg langsung berubah pas ngomong di telpon. Duh..segitunya,hahahha 
Udah ah,mo ngelanjutin baca Cosmopolitan dulu. Besok mo nemenin Fajar nyari kado buat ceweknya,soalnya tadi aku kasi liat hasil shopping..dia malah tertarik ama cincin yg aku beli. Dengerin last song of today, Moonlight Sonata by Beethoven. Sorry, ini cuman piano doang,jadi gak ada lyricnya..maap yaa.
Miss my piano,badly..  |
me at 8:48 PM
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You represent... naivete.
So innocent and trusting... you can be very shy at
times, but it's only because you're not sure
how to act. You give off that "I need to
be protected vibe." Remember that not all
people are good. Being too trusting will get
you easily hurt.
What feeling do you represent?
brought to you by Quizilla
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me at 7:55 PM
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Horoscope of Today:
You may be feeling on edge today. Some of this may just be leftover from yesterday, but there’s still some uneasiness about communication that you are experiencing. Perhaps you’ve chosen to avoid confrontation about something that is really bothering you. Perhaps someone said something to you that put you off and you didn’t tell them how it made you feel. No matter what your specific story is, you may need to talk about things that aren’t comfortable in order to reestablish your comfort.
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me at 8:58 AM
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rindu ini telah membatu
bersama cinta yang membeku
ditemani harapan semu
dipeluk airmata yang membiru
semua ini akankah sia-sia
apakah penantian ini kan berarti
atau hanya kebodohan yang terbelenggu
sementara, biarkan ku peluk kerinduan ini saja |
me at 12:48 AM
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| Sunday, July 06, 2003 |
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IKUT BERDUKA CITA BUAT MENINGGALNYA OM BARRY WHITE. Met jalan ya,Om..baek2 disana.. |
me at 12:44 PM
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Horoscope of Today:
Finally, here’s a day that has enough craziness in it to make you feel sane. You’ve been looking for that lost edge, a bit of excitement to spice up your routine. Well, now it’s within reach. Actually, it’s here, whether or not you reach for it. The lightning is striking and you are awakening from a deep slumber.
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me at 10:59 AM
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Duh,gimana sih caranya ngilangin banner di blog? Mesti bayar ya,yeeee...ogah banget. Nyebelinnya lagi, related searches banner diblog malu2in banget. Kesannya kayak website bokep aja...
Abis nelpon rumah, ngobrol lama ama Papa dan mbak Ly. Biasa...minta kirimin dana,hehehhehe. Sepupu2 ABG-ku lagi maen di Surabaya nih. Duh, jadi pengen pulang dan pergi ama mereka, pasti seru deh. Semalem, aku ngelakuin satu kebegoan lagi, nelpon orang yang gak seharusnya aku telpon.  Dasar bego!! |
me at 12:08 PM
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