| Monday, June 30, 2003 |
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Tadi pergi ama Duncan. Kita beli pizza trus makan dimobil sambil ngobrol2 dan ngeliat bintang, padahal mendung abis,hehhehehehe. Mas satu ini, paling masuk ke tipe cowok kesukaanku dari cowok2 garing kemaren. Orangnya lucu, smart, pake glasses, baek dan pretty cute. Besok dia ngajak lunch bareng ditempat kerjanya. So, let see tomorrow. Duh, kayaknya aku keganjenan banget ya, pergi ama cowok mulu akhir2 ini. Ya,aku cuman coba survive aja, gak mau mikirin masa lalu deh. Paiittt...kayak jamu, mending minum madu aja,manisss....
Lagi chat ama Ian, tapi boring banget. Mo bobo aja deh,besok mesti bangun rada pagi nih. Khan mo lunch ama Duncan. Tapi knapa ya, sebaek2nya cowok yg aku dapet disini, tetep aja ada satu bendera yg gak bisa aku cabut dihatiku, Funetta's flag. Tau ah, listen to the last song of today aja deh, You Don't Know Me by Sisqo.
WHAT YOU THINK YOU KNOW ME
THEN TELL ME WHAT I'M THINKIN' NOW
WHAT IS IT I DO LATE AT NIGHT
DO I PRETEND LIKE SOMEONE'S BETWEEN MY THIGHS
WILL I BE DREAMIN'OF YOU AT NIGHT
IS THAT WHAT YOU LIKE
WELL WHAT I WANNA KNOW IS
CAN YOU LOVE ME
I DIDN'T THINK SO
YOU DON'T KNOW ME
YOU DON'T REALLY KNOW ME
YOU SAY I'M SEXY
BUT YOU REALLY WANNA SEX ME
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me at 11:25 PM
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Horoscope of today:
If you take the action you’ve been considering, things can really be pushed along today. Even though it may seem to others as impulsive behavior, you’ve probably thought it all through many times. When it’s time to make a change, you can feel it in every nerve of your body. Once again, it’s time.
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me at 10:46 PM
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Hari ini, janjian lunch ama Jhon. Sapa lagi,Feb? hehehehe. Cuman temen baru yang ngajakin spend the time together. Cuman bentar, dia jemput jam 1 trus jam 3 udah balik kerumah lagi. Nyokapnya mendadak nelpon, mobilnya mogok dipinggir jalan dan nyuruh dia jemput. Ya udah, dia balikin aku duu sebelum nyamperin nyokapnya. Dia yg ngomel2 sepanjang jalan dan akunya cuman ketawa cekikikan aja, gak nyambung banget khan,hehehhehe.
Pas nyampe rumah, udah ada satu amplop kuning dari pak pos. Eh,kiriman dari mbak Ly udah nyampe. Isinya satu buku yg judulnya 'Advertising Guide Book', kasetnya Padi yg baru ama foto2. Duh,si Billa lucu banget. Ampe bengong liat dia udah gede sekarang,mana genit banget lagi. Rambutnya dijepit2 kecil gitu :) Hey..hey, I got new song today. Sisqo yg judulnya You Don't Know Me, gara2 dimobil Jhon muter lagu itu terus. Dia bilang, "This is your song." Hahahhaha, whatever!! Tapi enak juga kok didenger2in,makanya aku download barusan, males beli CDnya. Barusan balik dari shopping, abisnya males dirumah. Ya udah, ikutan mobilnya Fajar ampe Camberwell Junction, trus JJS deh. Beli atasan cute banget di RipCurl, lagi sale nih, makanya begitu suka langsung tebas abis deh,hehehhee. Beli birthday card juga buat Ian, bulan depan ulang tahun dia. Seperti biasa, mampir ke Priceline, liat2 perlengkapan dandan,hehehhehe. Gak tau deh,setiap kali ke sana, pasti ada aja yg dibeli. Kali ini beli mascara ama hand cream doang. Udah ah..
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me at 2:33 PM
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Horoscope of today:
Today, you have a chance to be the weird and eclectic person that you’d like to be. But rather than upsetting others with your unusual behavior, for some reason it all seems quite normal. It’s like you can get away with being less conventional now and yet it fits into the current situation. Don’t hold back more than you need to. This is a time for you to show your brilliance.
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me at 8:33 AM
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| Sunday, June 29, 2003 |
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Lagi kangen banget ama satu ciptaan Tuhan yang bernama Funetta. Udah pagi nih, udah mulai ngantuk, tapi tiba2 jadi ngerasa kosong banget. Klo aja aku bisa ngubah kenyataan, aku cuman pengin satu hal, let me be with him forever. Cuman itu keinginanku saat ini, pengen banget diakui keberadaannya.
Dear Funetta,somewhere out there..
Aku pengen kamu tau,klo aku udah semua cara untuk ngelupain kamu, tapi aku gak bisa. Udah nyoba nikmatin waktu ama cowok laen, tapi tetep aja at the end, inget kamu. Udah nyoba nganggap kamu sebagai masa lalu, tapi tetep aja berharap bisa ama kamu. Udah nyoba nyopot foto2 kamu dari dinding kamar, tapi di dinding hati cuman ada senyum kamu. Udah nyoba 1001 cara untuk melepas kamu, tapi tetep aja kangen kamu. So,tell me now, how can I move on with my life. I'll do what I have to do, but I still ended up missing you like hell 
Met bobo deh,Funetta. Klo emang aku gak bisa miliki kamu di kenyataan, aku masih boleh khan miliki kamu di mimpi. My last song of today, Endlessy by B4-4.
Do you know I exist, just to promise you this,
Endlessly to be true to you,
And if you answer my prayer,
I cross my heart and I'd swear
Endlessly to be true to you
And if you'd only see
How beautiful you and I would be, endlessly |
me at 11:06 PM
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if you really care,you will stay
if you really like,you will admit
if you really love,you will sacrifice
but if you already sacrifice, you will lose
cause at the end nothing will left except sadness |
me at 8:21 PM
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Just remembering the last conversation with someone that been forced to say goodbye.
Cewek: Maapin aku ya
Cowok: Kenapa minta maap ? Aku yang salah. Kenapa kamu yang minta maap ?
Cewek: Aku gak bisa bantu kamu apa2
Cowok: Kamu udah bantu aku banyak sekali
Cewek: Enggak...aku udah nyusahin kamu
Cowok: Engga kok, terima kasih ya
Cewek: Terima kasih buat apa?
Cowok: Untuk segala hal
Cewek: Aku gak ada gunanya
Cowok: Itu menurut kamu, semua sudah lebih dari cukup. Aku harus pergi
Cewek: Kemana?
Cowok: Urus semuanya, terima kasih ya
Cewek: Buat apa?
Cowok: Kamu selalu yang terbaik. Aku sayang sama kamu. Jangan lupa itu
Cewek: Iya...aku sayang kamu juga,banget
Cowok: Semoga kamu bisa selalu jadi yang terbaik untuk aku
Cewek: Insya allah
Cowok: I L U
Cewek: Love you too
Hari itu, sebuah mata tak pernah kering dari airmata. 
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me at 2:30 PM
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Bangun tidur, bikin coffee dulu trus bengong duduk di living room ngeliatin Prima yg lagi ngerjain assignment. Enak banget rasanya, libur kayak gini trus ngeliatin orang yg lagi pusing2 bikin assignment,hehhehehe. Mo mandi males banget sih, dingin euy. Semalem daftarin di blog award, PD amat ya, padahal blog masih standart gini. Ah,cuek...namanya juga usaha,iya gak? Semalem balik jam 12an trus Fajar ngeledekin, "Ih,jam segini udah balik, diketawain kasur loe tuh." hehehhehehe.
Ntar sore, temennya Fajar mo nitip kucing disini. Ahaa...kucing? Asik...asik, ada maenan baru. Udah gak sabar nungguin kucingnya dateng. Khan seru bisa maenan kucing dirumah, gak perlu nyari dijalan. Biasanya klo lagi kangen kucing, suka jalan dirumah2 tetangga sambil celingukan, kali ada yg punya kucing, persis maling aja deh,hehehhee. Eh,Dana kemana ya, kok hpnya mati mulu udah 3 hari ini. Jangan2 dia udah balik ke Korea lagi, kok gak pamit sih. Yeee...khan aku mo nitip setrika rambut. Ntar aku email aja deh. Mo mandi ah...sebelum tambah males nih. |
me at 9:37 AM
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Horoscope of today:
You feel the shift in the cosmic weather as the New Moon pulls you away from the high-flying thoughts you’ve been having and draws you into a pool of feelings. Try as you might to separate out the different strands of emotions, they are interwoven and create a complex tapestry of exquisite fabric. You might feel as if this emotional fabric is too heavy, but you are advised to wear it as if it were your own.
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me at 8:54 AM
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| Saturday, June 28, 2003 |
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GOOD MORNING,MELBOURNE.
Jam setengah 11 tadi, hpku bunyi, ternyata dari satu cowok temennya Zin, anak marketing yg pernah sekelas ama aku. Namanya Jhon, anak IT yg katanya pernah liat aku sekali dikampus. Dia bilang, dia suka ama aku, karena aku ASIAN GIRL. Ok,another rubbish of today. Gak tau knapa, lagi laku nih,hehhhehee. Tapi, tetep aja aku gak pernah bisa berpaling dari seseorang yang aku sebut Funetta. So, klo Funetta baca blogku ini, aku cuman mo bilang satu hal ama dia. I maybe a bitch, but all of my heart and soul just only for you!!
Ada kata2 baru yang aku suka akhir2 ini:
1. SHIT HAPPEN
2.FRIEND WITH BENEFITS
3. LIFE IS TOO SHORT,SO JUST ENJOY IT
Ok, not feel to write anything at the moment. Wanna relax now, so see you tomorrow then. Let's listen to the last song of today, Superman by Eminem.
I miss my Funetta tonight.
But I do know one thing though,
Bitches they come, they go,
Saturday through sunday monday,
Monday through sunday yo,
Maybe i'll love you one day,
Maybe we'll someday grow,
Till then just sit your drunk ass on that fuckin runway hoe... |
me at 9:34 PM
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IT'S RAINING AGAIN.
Craig tadi nelpon dan ngajakin ngopi cuman sejaman. Ok, just one cup of coffee, quick talk and laugh, then he dropped me home. Diluar langit mulai gelap dan gerimis. Kayaknya langit mo nangis lagi hari ini. Malem ini mungkin mo pergi ama Melisa, cuman belum pasti abisnya tadi aku telpon,hpnya non active. Hehhehe,mailboxnya aneh banget, cuman suara lagu disco trus suara mobil doang abis gitu langsung tiitttt. Dan aku dengan begonya,masih juga nyerocos manggil2 dia,"Melisa...Melisa, this is Feby." Hahahhaha,bego kok gak abis2 sih.
Semalem Bobby online juga dan dia minta maaf buat kemengongannya selama ini. Aku udah males banget liat mukanya dia lagi. 100% useless, so what's the point then. Aku cuman bilang klo aku gak ada urusan ama dia lagi. Aku cuman mo temenan, klo dia keberatan, ya udah...minggat gih!! Dia trus nelpon dan berusaha jelasin dari A-Z, cuman aku tetep aja gak berubah. "I just wanna be friend, so if you don't like it, it's your problem,not mine." Hehhehe,jahat banget ya kedengerannya,cuman klo aja bisa liat situasi dan kondisi yg sebenarnya, pasti deh pada setuju ama aku. Dia itu pyscho guy. Ngeri deh, makanya aku mo ngabur dari dia. Aku udah pernah bikin dia nangis lebih dari 3 kali selama ini. Ih,ngeri...cowok kok nangisan gitu. Udah ah..mo chatting ama Noonita dulu. |
me at 2:03 PM
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Hari ini bangun jam 12an, trus langsung bikin coffee dulu sebelum nelpon Praptie bentar,abis gitu nelpon Onel dan ketawa2 ama dia. Hari ini weathernya not really bad, ada sinar mataharinya dikit dibalik awan. Barusan bikin scramble egg with tuna,yummy juga ya ternyata. Gak tau, ini resep maksa-ku hari ini,hihihihihi. Liat di sink, banyak banget piring kotor bekas semalem. Ck...ck...ck, hidup serumah ama cowok kayak gini ya ternyata. Abis nyuci tuu semuanya baru nyalain internet. Eh, Craig lagi online, ya udah..kita ngobrol bentar soalnya dia mo nganterin housemate kerja. Cowok satu ini bener2 treat me like a lady. Semalem pas jalan ke mobil mo pulang, dia gandeng tanganku. Udah lama gak digandeng cowok,hehehehehe. Feby norak ah...ahhahaha!!
Tapi aku tau, klo aku dan dia gak bakalan ada apa2. Just friend, cause I know, I can't love someone else yet. Still stuck on the same person, I guess. But, who's care anyway. |
me at 12:09 PM
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Hey..hey, just back home. Abis ketemuan ama Craig nih. Kita ngobrol,ketawa2 dan ngomentarin orang2 yang lewat depan kita. Cowok satu ini kocak dan gila banget. Semaleman aku ketawa2 ama dia, lumayan buat ngilangin pusingku. I had a good time with him tonight. Trus sebelum dia nganterin aku pulang, kita lewat ke pantai dulu. Gila...banyak banget 'mobil goyang' euy,hahaha. Ada juga semacem club mobil juga disitu, jadi inget ama Kenjeran Sby. Dulu biasa kesana saben malem minggu liat drag race ama Rieza. Ajang adu kenceng mobil, ama tempat ketemu temen juga. Sekarang sih udah gak ada lagi, diprotes ama warga setempat katanya, soalnya berisik.
Udah setengah 4 pagi nih, mo bobo dulu deh. Capek nih,mata udah panas rasanya. Dengerin last song of today dulu ya, In Too Deep by Phil Collins. Sleep tight tonight, My Falling Star.
All this time
I still remember everything you said
There's so much you promised
How could I ever forget
Listen
You know I love you but I just can't take this
You know I love you but I'm playing for keeps
Although I need you I'm not gonna make this
You know I want to but I'm in too deep
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me at 12:36 AM
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Horoscope of today:
You may feel pleasingly pleasant and wonderfully witty now, even if you’d rather not waste your energy on light social banter. Your emotions are solidly connected with your mouth. What you feel can easily be said out loud. But you might not want to deal with what other people think about your need to have fun.
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me at 12:24 AM
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| Friday, June 27, 2003 |
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Gak tau deh, akhir2 ini aku ngerasa moodku gampang banget berubah2. Semenit bisa seneng, semenit lagi BT, semenit kemudian ketawa2, eh...semenit balik kusut lagi. Semalem ketemu ama Bobby trus kita ngopi bareng. Ngobrol dan ketawa2, tau2 pembicaraan lama2 jadi panas. Dia mulai mojokin aku lagi dengan pertanyaan2 bodoh yg bener2 bikin kepala mo meledak. Akhirnya aku udah gak kuat lagi, langsung deh cabut pulang. Sumpah...kadang dia begitu manis ama aku, tapi kadang dia bisa jadi orang yg paling nyebelin sedunia. Dia bilang, aku egois, cuman mikirin diri sendiri dan gak peduli ama perasaannya dia. Nah loo...yang suruh baek ama aku juga siapa. Yang nyuruh dia nelpon aku setiap malem juga siapa. Dan yang nyuruh dia berharap macem2 juga siapa. Nyampe rumah, nelpon Dana tapi hpnya off. Pengen crita2 ama dia, tapi hpnya mati. Gak lama Ian nelpon dan dia langsung tau klo aku lagi BT. Trus gantian dia yg nanya 1000 pertanyaan ke aku. Malang bener nasibku semalem. Diuber2 ama pertanyaan2 basi yg bikin aku pusing. Abis nelpon, langsung bobo deh. Meski kepala masih pusing banget dan emosi masih di ubun2, aku bawa bobo aja, daripada ditumpahin ke orang rumah. Khan kasian, mereka gak tau apa2, kena jatah juga. Fajar masih nelpon waktu aku pulang. Dia cuman ngeliat aja aku yg bolak-balik kamar sambil ngomel2 sendiri.
Jadi heran sendiri deh. Knapa sih cowok klo pengen sesuatu selalu gitu kelakuannya. Tapi mungkin akunya juga yg rada error akhir2 ini. Masih kebawa ama hawa2 diuber2 deadline assignment dan belajar buat ujian kali ya, jadinya gini. Malem ini pengen pergi deh, boring juga dirumah. Gak tau deh. Oiya, tadi nelpon rumah juga. Ngobrol ama mbak Ly,Gilang dan mbak Py juga. Si Gilang pinter deh, rangking 3 dia. Duh,aku yg langsung ditodong hadiah gitu ama dia. Dia minta dibeliin kasetnya gameboy 3 biji. Gila...3 biji !! Langsung deh aku nawar, "Kasetnya 2 aja ya,klo 3 ntar Abi' gak makan disini." Untung dia mau akhirnya, lega deh. Hehhehe, ponakan satu itu paling bisa deh klo nodong hadiah. Jadi kangen ama dia, ama Billa juga. Kangen digangguin dan diajakin maen PS kayak dulu. Kangen nggodain dia, dan jemput dia sekolah. Apa sih yg Abi' gak kasi buat kamu,Lang. Semuanya klo bisa juga Abi' kasi deh. |
me at 1:39 PM
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Horoscope of today:
It may feel like you are taking a ride on the Dream Machine. It’s not that you’ve completely lost touch with reality. Instead, it’s like you’ve gained a wider vision as your dreams stick with you throughout the day. As long as you can keep a handle on which is fantasy and which is real, the dreams will infuse your day with symbolic meaning and rich creativity.
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me at 11:35 AM
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| Thursday, June 26, 2003 |
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Today is my last day in school. Ujian 2 euy, susah juga. Yg Law of Marketing bener2 bikin aku mutusin satu hal, I HATE LAW. Klo ujian yg Advertising Campaign Studies gak seberapa susah, isinya masih common sense juga kayak ujian yg sebelumnya. Aku abis upload pictures juga. Akhirnya libur juga,lega deh. Gak ada lagi diuber2 deadline assignment for a while, ngapalin bahan buat ujian dan gak ada lagi bangun pagi. Yiihhhaaa..welcome back freedom,hehehhe.
Aku tuh paling sebel bangun pagi. Apalagi klo dingin banget,duh..berat banget ninggalin kasur dan selimut rasanya. Tadi pagi, anehnya tadi bangunnya kepagian,hihihihi. Tau deh,jadi heran sendiri. Mungkin karena mo ujian, jadinya otakku yg udah error pagi2. Selasa malem kemaren gak jadi cinema night soalnya Fajar ketiduran dan kita kelupaan bangunin, nyadar2 udah jam 10 lewat. Jadi,mungkin malem ini kita mo nonton.
Dina mana sih,gak balik2 dari ngeliput albumnya Glen. Aku lagi nungguin bahan gosipan nih, udah gak sabar dengernya. Ini menyangkut perasaan soalnya,hihihihi. Ya udah deh..mo bikin coffee dulu. |
me at 2:44 PM
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Horoscope of today:
Your need for spontaneity is high now. You could even feel like you’re more full of fun than usual. It’s not that you don’t have fun at other times. It’s just that now you may feel that you’ve earned the right to play. Step out and do something different. You’ll be glad you did.
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me at 2:25 PM
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| Wednesday, June 25, 2003 |
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| Hari ini aku ketempat toko IT Warehouse buat beli alat yg salah beli kemaren. Sialan, alat yg salah gak bisa dituker, ilang deh $80 for nothing. Abis gitu, lunch ke Japannese resto, tempat biasa aku lunch ama Will. Gak enak deh makan sendiri, sepi gak ada yg bisa diajakin ngobrol. Jam 3an kerumah Dad ampe jam 5. Benernya sih mo langsung pulang, tapi di depan train station ketemu ama Melisa, anak Malaysia yg funky abis dandanannya. Ngopi bareng, crita2 ampe jam setengah 7. Seneng juga akhirnya punya temen cewek yg bisa diajakin ngobrol seru. Kita janjian mo pergi Sabtu malem ntar. Ya udah deh,mo mandi dulu ah. Aku mesti belajar buat test besok nih. Barusan check email dan aku dapet email dari Luke lagi.Huahahhahaha,dia ngajakin ketemu lagi. Langsung deh ketawa ngakak dengan bejatnya,hahahha. Mandi dulu deh.. |
me at 4:52 PM
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| Tuesday, June 24, 2003 |
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Baru jam 11an nih..tapi orang rumah udah pada tidur semua. Ngapain ya? Mo baca Cleo yg udah nganggur seminggu aja kali ya. Tadi Bobby nelpon lagi, dan kita yg agak BT2an gitu. Knapa sih aku ini? Knapa saat ada cowok yg mo serius, akunya malah pengen temenan. Tapi saat akunya yg pengen serius, cowoknya malah ngajak temenan. Apa aku udah bener2 tertutup buat orang2 baru kayak Bobby dan Ian, ato akunya yg ngerasa mereka gak seperti yg aku harapkan. Jelas ajalah..gak ada cowok yg punya kepribadian yg sama dengan yg laennya. Gak tau deh..I just follow the river, don't know where it going to bring me, I just don't wanna anybody except my falling star.
Mo udahan ah..mo maen game yg baru aku download nih,namanya Lemonade Typon..kayaknya seru. Dengerin last song of today dulu deh, Drugs Don't Work by The Verve. Met bobo,Melbourne.
And I hope you're thinking of me
As you lay down on your side
Now the drugs don't work
They just make you worse
But I know I'll see your face again
Now the drugs don't work
They just make you worse
But I know I'll see your face again
'Cause baby, ooh, if heaven calls, I'm coming, too
Just like you said, you leave my life, I'm better off dead
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me at 8:19 PM
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Tau2 keinget omongannya Will beberapa hari yang lalu sebelum dia balik ke Spain. Dia bilang, cinta yg indah itu cuman ada film. Di kehidupan nyata, cinta gak seindah itu. Butuh pengorbanan, airmata dan ribuan energy. Jadi klo kita mikir cinta itu pasti bakal happy ending, itu artinya kita kebanyakan nonton drama dan mimpi. Karena sebahagia2nya cinta, suatu saat mereka bakal dipisahan, mungkin ama keadaan, kenyataan ato ama maut. Nah..lo, bener juga omongan anak gila satu itu. Waktu itu kita lagi ngopi deket kampus, dan lagi ngomongin cinta, bahan omongan kita yg paling sering dibahas...cinta buta,hahahha. Dan malemnya jam 1 pagi, tau2 dia sms aku,
"The worst regrets in the world are when you can't have someone you love and find out the one you love is not happy." Gak tau dia lagi knapa, yg pasti kata2nya itu bikin kantukku ilang seketika. |
me at 6:26 PM
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aku kangen kamu kalo lagi susah...
aku kangen kamu kalo lagi sedih...
tapi aku paling kangen kamu kalo lagi bahagia...
Kamu ingat kata2 itu,Funetta?
Saat dimana mencintaimu bukanlah suatu larangan
Saat dimana merindukanmu bukanlah impian
Saat dimana tak ada dinding diantara kita
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me at 6:01 PM
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Baru nyampe rumah nih, trus nyobain mouse imut yg baru aku beli. Kmaren download lagu di soundtracknya Buffy, eh pas udah complete download, ternyata salah lagu. Dapetnya malah video clip Buffy ama Angel pas pacaran. Duh, romantis bener...mana pas ciuman, mesra banget lagi. Ck...ck...ck...cuman bisa ngiler depan laptop. Meski aku bukan penggemar film Buffy ama Angel, tapi aku suka Angel. Mukanya mengandung misteri dan matanya dalem banget. Jadi mikir, knapa sih ciuman itu lebih dasyat maknanya daripada ML? Padahal cuman temu bibir doang, tapi knapa tetep aja penuh arti. Mungkin kata orang2 itu bener ya, ciuman itu perlu perasaan, tapi ML bekal napsu doang juga jadi,hahahhahaha. Setuju banget!! Klo yg nyium itu orang yg kita sayangi, pasti deh artinya selangit, tapi klo yg nyium itu temen biasa...garing banget,hehehee.
Barusan Duncan online dan ngajakin ketemu sekarang. Cuman aku boongin aja mesti ngerjain assignment, dan dia kayaknya ngambek. Trus bilang mo bobo siang dulu, trus offline.Huahahhaha,jam setengah 5 sore..mo taking nap? Maksa banget alasannya, tapi bodo amat. Ntar juga nelpon klo dia udah gak ngambek lagi, kayak bayi aja suka ngambek. Abis dingin2 gini males keluar. Enakan dirumah, anget bisa sambil ngopi lagi.Gak tau knapa, sejak dapet email semalem...males banget ketemu cowok. Padahal juga ngaruh sih ketemu apa gak, pikiran dan perasaanku juga gak bakal berubah. Sialan, barusan dikasi tau Prima klo alat yg aku beli buat laptopku salah. Gila...$80 ilang sia2,mana gak bisa dibalikin lagi. Ya udah besok terpaksa balik ketokonya lagi, ngerayu Mas-nya biar bisa tuker ama alat yg bener. Bener2 deh!!
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me at 1:51 PM
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Hari ini aku ngelakuin satu kebegoan lagi. Bayangin, udah ampir sebulan ini pulang pergi naek train yg sama, eh..tadi pagi salah ambil train. Gara2nya sih bangun kesiangan lagi seperti biasa, trus gak sempet breaky juga, cuman nyeruput coffee sisa semalem,hehehehehe. Gak sempet breakfast tapi sempet dandan..ck..ck..ck, keganjenan banget sih aku,hehehehhe. Nyampe di Camberwell station, dari ujung keliatan train dateng, langsung deh lari2 kayak maling jemuran, begitu train brenti langsung naek aja gak pake liat schedule screen dulu. Begitu trainnya jalan, baru deh nyadar klo train yg aku naekin itu menuju kerumah lagi. Bego...bego *jeduk2in kepala ke kaca*. Trus brenti di station pertama, dan ngambil train yg balik kearah kampus. I start the day with another stupid thing,hihihihi...jadi malu ama bebek nih.
Hari ini benernya gak ada kelas cuman ngumpulin assignment doang, cuman mesti dateng pagi, takut dosennya keburu pulang. Dan semalem aku yg ngerjain assignment dengan riangnya. Untuk yg pertama kalinya...seorang Feby ngerjain assignment dengan riang gembira,hehehehehe. Assignment kelar jam 11an, trus baru dinner deh. Perasaan, dirumah kita bertiga jadi kayak kalong aja..begadang..makan trus tidur. Jam 1 baru bobo deh. Bobby nelpon juga semalem, dan akunya yg cuek bebek gitu. Seperti biasa dia ngajakin ketemuan, cuman aku tolak dgn teganya, "No, I'm busy this week."
Ntar malem mungkin mo nonton ama orang rumah. Tuesday night is cinema night. Siang ini foto yg aku develop udah jadi, ntar tinggal scan aja ditempat Dad besok, sekalian nanya soal listrik. Udah ya...mo upgrade template my blog dulu. Enough for now...ta..ta
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me at 9:29 AM
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| Monday, June 23, 2003 |
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Can't Stop Smiling Tonight
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me at 3:22 PM
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You've Got Mail !!
Hey, I got email from someone :)) Kaget banget,soalnya kira2 sejam yg lalu aku cek email dikampus dan belum ada email. Dikasi foto juga ama dia :))
Langsung deh, yg namanya BT,suntuk,capek,kedinginan,mmm...apalagi ya..pokoknya yg gak enak2 langsung ilang deh liat senyumnya my falling star. Thanks for bright my day again. I don't know what's going to happen next which is going to burn my heart again or warm it up, don't know...don't care.Just so happy to know you still remember me :))
Duh,jadi semangat deh. Mo ngerjain assignment dulu ah, tiba2 jadi kaya ide nih,hehehehe. I tell you what, if you love someone, that person will bring a such huge impact on you.And I'm glad that guy bring a positive and good impact on me, not the bad one. That's why I can't forget him :)) |
me at 3:02 PM
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Another presentation for today, it's for Consumer Decision Making. Gila,hari ini dingin banget.Mana ujan lagi, brrr...ujung celana jeansku basah lagi deh, padahal baru kemaren dijemur, BT. Semalem nyuci baju ama Fajar di asramanya si Prima. Lumayan murah daripada tempat cuci yg kemaren. Kelar jam 10an, trus mampir ke McD bentar, si Prima kelaparan. Semalem pusing ngerjain assignment Copywriting, otakku asli kering deh sekarang :(
Dana nelpon jam 1 pagi, ketawa2 sampe jam 2an trus langsung ganti piyama dan memeluk mimpi. Bangun2 jam 11, nyulut marlboro trus bikin coffee. Eh, Fajar udah bangun dan lagi nelpon. Duh,yang lagi jatuh cinta...senyum terus ampe bibir kering,hahahhaha. Sekarang lagi di library kampus, abis presentasi. Eh, gak sengaja nemu blognya Astri ama Tyaz. Seneng deh, akhirnya ketemu ama temen lama yg doyan ngeblog juga :)
Kelas sepi tanpa Will. Biasanya kita udah ngopi jam segini. Dia pasti masih di atas awan sana menuju Madrid, Spanyol. Udah ah..mo pulang. Mesti beli lan card nih buat laptopku biar bisa dipake network internet-nya. Can't wait for the holiday next week... |
me at 1:07 PM
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| Sunday, June 22, 2003 |
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If it's real, if it's true love, there it will always be there
You can pretend its gone and even move on
But that love, it's still there
In the depths of your mind..
Sometimes a single object or song triggers it all
And you're right back where you started
In the arm of the one you lost
If it's worth, it will fly back to me
If it's belong to me, I'll get it back
But if it's not, just not
If it's gone, it will disappear
But I will remember it
As a half of my heart cry
I know, one day I'll get the other half back
Maybe from him, or could be from someone else |
me at 1:07 PM
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Wah,semalem seru juga lho. Dad's birthday party gak seberapa banyak yg dateng,cuman aku, Kati, Andi, and Phuong family plus the kids, Kennedy and Joshua. Si Kennedy tambah nakal aja deh, dia gelitikin pinggangku mulu, ck..ck..ck,kecil2 udah bisa godain cewek juga dia. Ketawa2, dinnernya steamboat dan foto2an. Aku mo ngabisin filmku, makanya bergenit2 ria foto mulu,hehhehehe. Minh, suaminya Phoung ngajakin ngomong terus, masalahnya aku gak ngerti dia ngomong apa. Bahasa inggrisnya parah banget, jadi akhirnya aku cuman senyum sambil manggut2 doang,hahhahaha. Dad bilang, pokoknya klo Minh ngomong siap2 jadi bego deh,hahhahaha. Oiya, Dad lumayan mabok semalem dan dia crita sesuatu yg bikin aku kaget banget. There's something happen between him and Phoung. Yaelah..aku langsung ngakak pas dicritain. You dirty old man,hahhahahaa. Abis gitu jam setengah 11an, manggil taksi trus ke Harp Hotel nemuin Will. Itu local pub deket rumahnya Will. Di taksi ngobrol2 ama sopirnya sepanjang perjalanan. Gak tau dianya yg ramah ato akunya yg mood ngobrolnya lagi gede. Disana udah ada Will ama temen2 rumahnya, Julian, Luke and Marry. Ngobrolin si Bobby ama Will, ketawa2 kita bergosip ria di bar. I don't believe he's leaving today. Time is flying so fast. Tau gak, temen rumahnya Will yg namanya Luke itu orangnya arogant banget. Aku inget pertama kali kenalan, dia yg dingin dan kesannya ngeremehin banget. Tapi semalem dia ramah banget ama aku. Ngajakin ngomong dan becanda mulu. Tiba2 jadi pengen ngerjain dia,hehehhe. Ya udah, the game is start and at the end, I'm got him. Makanya jadi orang jangan sombong2 dong, emang cuman elo doang yg pemusik.
Barusan nelpon Will, dia udah di airport mo check-in. Cuman mo ngucapin good bye aja ke dia. Sumpah, sedih juga dia pulang hari ini. Dia teman terbaekku selama disini, dan dia udah bantuin aku banyak banget. GOOD BYE,WILL. I WISH ALL THE BEST FOR YOU. GOOD LUCK FOR YOUR LIFE, AND HOPE WE CAN MEET AGAIN,ONE DAY.
Tadi nyobain nelpon Onel, tapi kok gak bisa sih. Kayaknya aku dapet nomer hpnya salah deh, trus nomer rumahnya juga kok yg ngangkat cewek. Ya udah, akhirnya nelpon Epha.Opportunity only come once, so when it come just take it. Cause it may not coming back again. That's my philosophy,Pha.
Ujan lagi nih, dingin. Sore ini mo nyuci baju deh kayaknya. Nunggu Fajar balik kerja, trus nyuci. Si Prima malah tidur lagi di living room, lengkap ama selimutnya. Mo nyari bahan dulu deh buat assignment Copywriting. Heran, subject ini banyak banget assignment-nya semester ini. Semalem Bobby juga nelpon, bilang kangen. Ah...basi!! Dia pikir dia siapa, bisa ngatur aku semau udelnya. Gak ada yg bisa ngatur aku, selain diriku sendiri. Aku udah males ketemu dia lagi, makanya mo ngabur pelan2 dari dia. Udah ah..mo bikin coffee dulu. |
me at 10:32 AM
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| Saturday, June 21, 2003 |
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Apa sih benernya arti sebuah perkawinan itu? Apa artinya sebuah ucapan "Saya terima nikahnya bla..bla..bla" dan abis gitu difoto sambil nyengir mamerin buku kecil berwarna ijo itu? Apa sebuah kebersamaan dan ketergantungan antara 2 orang manusia adalah penyebab perkawinan? Ato perkawinan itu sebuah tanda kalo 2 orang manusia yang biasanya nyebut 'shag' jadi 'ML'?
Kata orang2 tua, hidup itu ada tahapnya. Kayak tangga. Sekarang kita ada ditahap ini, besok mencoba naek ketahap berikutnya dan terus gitu sampe anak tangga itu habis kita naiki. Tapi, sampe kapan anak2 tangga itu bakalan habis? Gimana kita tau klo tahap yg kita naiki sekarang itu adalah anak tangga terakhir? Aku jadi inget ama satu sepupuku yg abis nikah February kemaren. Dan aku bukanlah satu2nya orang dikeluargaku yg gak ngerti jalan pikirannya dia yg mutusin buat kawin diumur 19 tahun. Karena pada dasarnya, aku suka penasaran ama hal2 bodoh kayak gitu. Pas liburan lebaran kemaren, akhirnya aku berhasil ngobrol berdua ama dia, setelah mesti membodohi nyokapnya dia dulu yg selalu nempel dia kemana2. Akhirnya aku bisa nanya langsung ke dia, knapa dia ngotot banget mo kawin. Apa karena bunting, cinta buta, ato karena apa? Dan dia jawab pertanyaanku dengan entengnya dan yg langsung bikin aku speechless dengan begonya. "Gak tau ya,Mbak, kenapa aku segini ngototnya mo kawin. Cuman yg pasti aku ngerasa udah mantap aja." Tuu khan, sapa yg gak speechless dengernya. Ya udah, aku cuman bisa manggut2 sambil senyum kecut doang. No more question!!
Buat aku, perkawinan itu artinya idup mati bakal ama satu orang aja. Perkawinan itu artinya berbagi hidup ama seseorang. Gak ada yg namanya mundur ato lari klo ada masalah. Gak ada yg namanya "Time Out" klo capek ama seseorang itu. Yang ada hanya terus berjalan maju apapun rintangannya. Amit2 deh,jangan sampe cerai. Makanya sebelum mutusin kawin, pikir2 dulu ratusan kali, udah siap gak ama konsekuensinya. Jangan seneng aja yg dipikirin, itu cuman keliatan enak karena kita belum ngerasain. Tapi klo udah ngerasain, pasti juga bosen. Semua itu ada batasnya. Saat ini, aku belum kepikiran buat yg namanya kawin. Alasannya sih klise aja. Satu, I don't have man.Dua, masih pengen bebas. Aku gak mau kawin sampe bisa biayain kebutuhanku sendiri dan yg pasti, mo nyeneng2in ortu dulu deh. Udah waktunya, aku balas budi mereka. Buat apa kawin, klo malah bikin masalah dan tertekan. So, the conclusion is marry with someone that has a good heart cause when you get old, everything will changes, but heart will stay the same.
Mo mandi dulu deh. Jam 6 mo ketempat Dad, malem ini dinner birthday-nya dia, trus jam 10 mo ke farewell party-nya Will. I'm tired but what can I do. I can have my sleep all the time, but I can't have these two moment forever. Forget about the weeding, forget about the bullshit. My time is not coming yet, still waiting for my falling star. |
me at 1:24 PM
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I got really bad mood today. Don't know why, I think it already started from lastnight. Semalem pas lagi nunggu tram, aku dengerin Mp3, trus tau2 yg muncul lagunya One Last Cry. Abis dengerin lagu itu, langsung moodku berubah jadi mellow gitu. Sampe sekarang, malah tambah BT. Tau gak, aku mulai sebel ama Bobby. Bukannya apa2,cuman aku mulai muak ama gayanya yg sok capek,sok sibuk dan sok cakep. Pas aku dinner dirumahnya, dia nyetel lagu2 india sepanjang malam. Bukannya aku rasis ato anti-india, cuman lagu india khan yg rada2 dangdut gitu,hehehhehe. Trus dia sering banget bilang klo nama terakhirku itu nama india yg artinya ratu. "You're my queen." OMG...cut that fucking crap out. Kadang klo kita ngomongin soal agama, secara gak langsung ada perbedaan pendapat diantara kita. Cuman aku diem aja, males ngomonginnya. Dan satu lagi yg bikin aku sebel, dia itu orangnya raaapppiiiii banget. Kotor dikit langsung dilap mejanya, aku salah buang puntung rokok langsung diambil dan dibersihin. Kadang aku malah sengaja berantakin flatnya..hahahhaha,bodo amat. I think I will finish this game soon. Don't wanna play it again.
I woke up this morning
You were the first thing on my mind
I don't know were it came from
All I know is I need you in my life, yeah
You make me feel like I can be a better woman
If you just say you wanna take this friendship to another place
Can I walk with you through your life
Can I lay with you as your wife
Can I be your friend 'till the end
Can I walk with you through your life (fades away)
Lagunya India.Arie yg Can I Walk With You, enak deh...dari kemaren muter2 dikepalaku terus nih.
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me at 11:19 AM
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Horoscope of today:
If you are trying to control things, the lightning may have to strike repeatedly, until you understand that you need to let go. If, on the other hand, you are really willing to let go of the past, this can be a most exciting time. Let yourself get swept off your feet and fall into the whirlwind. Enjoy the ride, for you’ll land back on the ground soon enough.
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me at 10:47 AM
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| Friday, June 20, 2003 |
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I just got something that I'm desperate to have from long time ago. Hehhehee, my nasty brain is smiling again.
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me at 9:55 AM
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Horoscope of today:
It’s surely magic at work—or is that magic at play? Either way, something is going on that is out of the ordinary, and it could involve love. This isn’t an ordinary love; it’s the potential to realize your dreams. Just remember that when our visions of ideal love precipitate into reality, they are not quite as magical as when they were dreams. Nonetheless, keep those dreams alive.
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me at 9:49 AM
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| Thursday, June 19, 2003 |
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Pulang kuliah, nyari kado buat ulang tahunnya Dad. Puter2 bingung nyari apa,mentok2nya beli a box of chocolate juga,hihihihi. Trus beli cutex lucu,warna pale pink ama beli eyes pencil warna putih. Emang klo lagi BT, obat paling manjur itu shopping. Tadi gak shopping2 banget sih,cuman penyakit lama kambuh lagi. Paling gak bisa liat sale. Liat barang lucu dikit...beli. Liat barang sale dikit...beli. Liat cowok cakep dikit...beli,hahahha..klo yg satu ini gak bisa dibeli deh.
Anyway, malem ini mesti belajar lagi. Besok masih ada satu ujian. Kemaren beli majalah Cleo, cuman ampe sekarang belum sempet dibaca. Cuman liat2 gambarnya doang, artikel2nya belum kebaca. Tau gak,tadi pas jalan dari train station kerumah, ketemu ama satu kucing lucu. Waktu aku deketin,dianya diem aja. Ya udah aku elus2 deh,gemes pokoknya. Aku khan sambil jongkok, tau2 dia naek ke pahaku kayak minta gendong gitu. Tau2,dia manjat jaket jeansku trus naek dipundakku. Hahahha,sumpah...aku jadi kayak aladin aja yg kemana2 bawa monyet dipundaknya. Untung sepi,klo gak khan diketawain orang. Hahhahaha,seharusnya aku foto waktu itu ya,pasti kocak banget. |
me at 2:41 PM
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JUST LEAVE ME ALONE |
me at 10:19 AM
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Udah dikampus nih. Tumben hari ini gak bangun kesiangan, cuman kesiangan ngejar trainnya...hahahhaha,sama aja khan. Fajar nelpon pas lagi ditrain, dia lupa bawa kunci rumah. Ck..ck..ck, bapak yg satu ini, mentang2 lagi jatuh cinta...kunci rumah sampe gak kebawa. Hari ini aku ujian Law of Marketing. Open book sih, bisa jawab pertanyaannya,cuman ada satu pertanyaan yg nilainya gendut banget: 8 mark tentang gambling dan aku gak punya note-nya. Sialan..cuman bisa garuk2 kepala doang deh. Terpaksa, jurus ngarangnya dikeluarin deh daripada kosong gak ada jawabannya,hihihihihi.
Semalem, ada yang ngomong gak enak banget ke aku. Dia bilang," Aku shock banget denger kamu ngelakuin hal2 kayak gitu. Aku gak cemburu,sumpah.Aku cuman kasian ama kamu dan gak ngira kamu bisa ngelakuin hal serendah itu." Kaget banget dikomentarin kayak gitu. Aku sendiri gak ngira dia bakal ngomong gitu keaku, tapi perkiraanku salah. Langsung marah2 sendiri deh dikamar. Buat orang itu ada satu yg mau aku omongin ke dia, baca dan inget baek2. Kita emang pernah deket banget, kita juga pernah saling sayang, tapi saat ini kita cuman temen. Apapun yg aku lakuin dihidupku,bukan urusanmu.Dan apapun yg kamu lakukan juga bukan urusanku. Klo yg ngatain aku itu orang laen,mungkin aku masih bisa terima. Tapi klo kamu, sakit ati banget rasanya. Asal kamu inget aja, gak ada yg sempurna didunia ini. Aku cuman jalanin apa yg bisa aku jalanin. Klo itu RENDAH menurut kamu..fuck off then. Aku gak ada urusan lagi ama kamu. Please,jangan bikin aku menyesali 6 taun yg aku habiskan bersama kamu. Coba lebih jujur ama diri sendiri,mana yg lebih menyedihkan. Mencoba survive dan membangun impian, ato menunggu masa depan dengan impian kosong?
Sumpah, BT banget. Semalem langsung bales sms dan bilang, "Rendah?Makasih buat pendapatnya. Selamat Tinggal,-----"
Tau ah, males ngomonginnya. Heran aja, masih ada juga ya orang yg berpikiran sesempit dan senegative itu. Is that a problem if I flirt with a guy? Is that a sin if I enjoying my time with a guy? Or is that a curse if someone love me but I'm not. Who's care, nobody cares. It's my fucking life, not yours!!
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me at 9:56 AM
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Horoscope of today:
You may be dreaming now about things that can help you become more stable. This is kind of weird, for normally dreams are about impractical things. Now, however, your mind is working overtime on issues of basic importance. Make the changes that are necessary to get yourself back on track.
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me at 9:07 AM
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| Wednesday, June 18, 2003 |
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Ada satu orang yang aku tunggu2 commentnya buat blogku ini. Ya, aku juga baru ngasi alamat blogku ini sekitar 2 mingguan yg lalu sih,mungkin dianya masih ato terlalu sibuk buat nyempetin mampir ke blogku ini bentar. Ato mungkin dia udah sering baca blogku cuman emang sengaja gak ngasi comment. Aku gak tau sih,mana yg bener. Tapi aku bener2 nunggu comment dia, karena aku tau dia gak bakalan ngasi comment basa-basi buat nyenengin aku doang. Klo bagus bilang bagus, klo jelek bilang jelek. So, klo perkiraanku yg kedua bener (dia udah sering baca blogku), please let me know. Dan apapun isi blog ini, aku sama sekali gak maksud ngomongin kamu. Aku cuman nulis apa yg ada diotakku saat itu, jadi 100% ditanggung jujur deh. Dan buat orang itu, sorry klo abis baca blog ini pikiran kamu tentang aku berubah. Aku emang cuman cewek biasa, not special, but you are my special one.
Mo belajar dulu ya...besok ujian 2 euy. Daag...daag |
me at 4:00 PM
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Hari ini gak ada kuliah, cuman dari jam 1 udah betah2in diri di library kampus. Mo pinjem buku buat presentasi Consumer Decision Making Senin depan. Semalem aku,Fajar dan Prima nonton "Bulletproof", bagus juga lho. Benernya Prima mo nonton film barunya Vin Diesel, tapi aku ama Fajar maunya nonton film kungfu, ya udah kalah suara dia,hehehehehe. Bobby nelpon pas kita lagi ngopi sambil nunggu film-nya maen. Cuman bentar, cuman nanyain aku ada planning apa weekend ini. Jumat ini aku mo hang out terakhir ama Will, trus sabtunya Dad's birthday jadi ada dinner ditempat dia, minggu sih paling nyuci baju doang. So, I can't put you in my weekend schedule,right.Sorry, but friend suppose to be friend, not girlfriend.
Anyway,semalem pas abis nonton aku dapet sms dari Praptie. Dia ngasi satu kabar terbaru tentang dia yg sempet bikin aku kaget banget. What's matter with you,Friend? Gee..I totally speechless now, but I want to know all the detail. You don't have to listen to me right now, cause I never have that kind a experience, but just wondering why. Eh, cewek yg duduk disebelahku ini knapa sih. Ngomong2 sendiri dan nyanyi2 gak jelas gitu. Ssstttt...shut up. Berisik tau! Eh,dia jorok banget. Masa tau2 dia sendawa (bahasa laennya apa sih?kalo bahasa Jawanya sih tau) sumpah..jorok banget.
Udah ah..mo ngerjain bahan presentasi dulu. |
me at 11:26 AM
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Horoscope of today:
Your energy is running smoothly now, like an automobile that has just had a tune up. This, of course, doesn’t mean that there aren’t problems in your life. It just means that you have the intellectual prowess to figure out solutions. Furthermore, you have the physical energy to apply yourself to get the work done. There is a bit of craziness approaching on the horizon, but for now it’s mostly running smoothly.
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me at 11:11 AM
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| Tuesday, June 17, 2003 |
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I miss Bournemouth. I miss all the good times when I was there. Gee...time is flying so fast. Today, I realise that Will is going back for good soon. Just counting the day and he'll leave this country for good. My housemate just back home and we are planning to go to cinema tonight. I just had rendang for my dinner...yummmy. So full and happy :)
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me at 5:01 PM
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You once gave me something
I should always keep
A little spark that should grow to a flame
It still glows here hidden in my heart
Burning me whenever someone speaks your name
Little things, little things
Remind me
Want to erase, give the space to someone else
Would it have changed anything if I had loved you more?
Does it matter now?
Now that you've got it all?
Little things cut like knives,Funetta
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me at 2:48 PM
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Akhirnya semalem berhasil juga nyelesain assignment Copywritingku. Pagi ini aku dateng telat lagi. Gak tau knapa, akhir2 ini aku telat mulu bangunnya. Mungkin karena insomniaku semakin parah, juga assignment banyak banget. Jadi ya...begadang mulu ampir saben malem. Tadi juga udah dapet result buat assignment 1 dan 2 di kelas Copywriting. Aku gak seberapa puas ama mark-nya. I should do it better, but shit happened lately. Susah juga bikin script iklan kayak gitu. Nilaiku benernya termasuk lumayan dikelas, cuman masih aja gak seberapa puas. I know I can get better if I force my brain more :( Ya udahlah, next assignment mesti dapet lebih bagus lagi.
Semalem, pas lagi dinner ama korean noddle-ku, Fajar dateng bawain rendang. Duh,seneng banget,sayang udah keburu makan mie. Makanya tadi sepulang kuliah, beli nasi buat dinner malem ini ama rendang tercintaku..hehehehhe. Benernya aku gak seberapa fuzzy ama makanan, tapi siapa sih yang gak kangen ama rendang :) Tadi juga beli veggie springroll, yummy juga lho. Ujan nih seharian, dingin banget. You know what, every time I'm walking in middle of the rain. I always wondering if someone wanna walking and holding a hand with me in the rain. |
me at 1:02 PM
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langit sering menangis...
airmatanya dingin menyentuh pipiku
isaknya pilu memenuhi telingaku
dan jeritnya serak menganggu tidurku
langit sering termenung...
tatapannya sendu menyesakkan dadaku
sapanya lirih menggugah haruku
dan tawanya getir menampar jiwaku
tapi hari ini langit sedikit ceria...
matanya lembut merangkul bahuku
dan akupun bertanya, "ada apa?"
tangannya hangat mengenggamku
"semalam dia datang di mimpiku."
dan kamipun menangis bersama |
me at 10:30 AM
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Horoscope of today:
You Aquarians might think that you have it all together. You know what you want and you are ready to go out and get it. But something isn’t quite as it appears. Your needs will change and you might find that you have moved in a wrong direction. Don’t fret over wasted time. It wasn’t wasted if it helps you discover what you want.
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me at 10:10 AM
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| Monday, June 16, 2003 |
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Pulang kuliah, keujanan dan kedinginan. Nyampe langsung bikin coffee dulu trus nyalain laptop. Sialan, besok mesti ngumpulin assignment buat Copywriting nih. Tadi nyariin Will, tapi dianya gak masuk. Khan mo minjem handout buat ngerjain assignment. Untung Dani baek banget, gak pake ditanya langsung ngasi pinjem handout Copywriting ama Law of Marketing. Ujian Market Research juga lancar aja,mesti dateng telat, tapi resultnya cukup memuaskan :). Di library bentar ama Dani and Brad, plus Dana cuman dianya nyempil di komputer paling ujung. Duh,badanku capek banget nih. Banyak banget sih assignment yg mesti dikerjain, mana ujian dan presentasi juga udah berbaris dgn manisnya di antrian minta diselesain juga.
Semalem nelpon Onel, pengen tau gimana kabarnya. Ngobrol bentar dan ketawa2. Cepet sembuh ya,Nel.Jangan lupa cobain resep yang aku kasi, kali aja lebih manjur dari resep temen kamu.
Udah ah,mo ngerjain assignment dulu. Don't have much time to finish it,but I'll try. I know I can do it, I have to. |
me at 2:09 PM
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My horoscope of today:
Mars has been in your sign since late April and has energized your soul. If you’ve integrated the fire, you have been more active and self-motivated. If not, you may have experienced acrimonious disputes or even a minor illness. Now, as Mars readies to leave your sign, it time for you to finish up old business and tie up loose ends.
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me at 9:58 AM
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| Sunday, June 15, 2003 |
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Bingo!! I just got a lover card. Just wait, someone will come on my way soon. But the question are; when,who,where,what and how? |
me at 2:21 PM
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Selamat Jalan,Kekasih. Selamat Jalan, Kenangan. Selamat Jalan, Impian. Dan Selamat Jalan,
Cintaku. Aku tahu, mungkin jauh dilubuk hatimu saat ini, adalah namaku disana yang kau
simpan dalam kekecewaanmu. Aku yakin, hari ini, kamu menyebut namaku lebih dari sekali, meski
mungkin hanya di hati saja. Tersenyumlah,Cintaku. Tersenyumlah pada keadaan yang menghimpitmu.
Hanya senyum yang bisa menghibur kehancuranmu, kehancuranku, kehancuran kita. Meski kau sudah
menyuruhku untuk pergi meninggalkanmu, aku tetap akan selalu bersamamu. Mungkin aku tak
mampu menyertaimu dalam kehidupan nyata, tapi jiwa dan cintaku selalu menemanimu dalam angan.
Kau hanya dapat merasakannya saat malam panjang yang dingin dan sepi tiba. Saat kau mulai
menyebut namaku lagi dan menghadirkan bayangku dalam benakmu. Saat itulah aku akan datang
dan menemanimu, aku janji. Biarlah aku sendiri yang harus berjalan pergi meninggalkan semua
impian kita dan memunguti serpihan hatiku. Cinta ini tulus,Cintaku. Cinta ini nyata dan tanpa
pamrih apapun. Cinta ini mungkin akan membunuhku, tapi takkan pernah membunuh kenangan kita.
Berbahagialah,Cintaku. Tersenyumlah pada kenyataan dan tunjukkan bahwa kekuatan cinta kita
takkan mati dimakan tradisi dan kenyataan. Selamanya...selamanya, takkan hilang dimakan
waktu dan api. Karena kaulah api dan akulah air. Itulah kita.
The memorian on someone's wedding, 16 February 2003 |
me at 1:43 PM
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Dear my falling star...
Hari ini, ada seseorang yang mengatakan 'magic word' padaku lagi. Dia tatap mataku dan membisikkan kata2 itu ditelingaku. Dia mengenggam tanganku dan bilang, dia akan menjagaku. Dan dia bertanya, "Knapa hatiku terlalu dingin untuk disentuh? Knapa, ada kesedihan dimataku? Dan knapa, senyumku selalu membuatnya ingin memelukku selamanya?"
Aku diam dan tetap saja diam. Dan akhirnya aku jawab," Suatu malam,ada bintang jatuh dilangitku. Sejak itu sinarnya menerangi malam2ku. Lalu bintang itu tiba2 hilang, dan malamku tak lagi terang. Yang ada hanya kegelapan dan kesunyian. Dan tak ada lagi bintang yang bisa menerangi malamku."
Dia terkejut mendengarnya, "Siapapun bintang jatuhmu saat itu, aku hanya bisa bilang satu hal. Dia tidak tahu, betapa besar sinarnya bisa menerangi malam2mu. Tapi dia bodoh, karena saat dia tahu dan sadar, malammu sudah bukan miliknya lagi."
Setelah itu kututup pintu dan kutinggalkan dia termangu diluar sana.
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me at 10:59 AM
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My horoscope for today:
Your life may feel generally upbeat as you look for fun things to do. You are ready to play and the universe seems ready to play with you. It’s a good thing. There’s always something else going on, however, and now is no exception. You have very real feelings of insecurity that can be keeping you from really letting go. You may have to keep one foot on the shore, even if the water is refreshing and everyone else is swimming.
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me at 10:27 AM
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| Saturday, June 14, 2003 |
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JUST QUESTIONS
What's your fave website?
Saat ini paling sering ke www.google.com. Otak kedua buat ngerjain assignment
Your fave sound?
Sound of raindrops on my bedroom window at seven in the morning and realise don't have to wake up and go to school.
Fave TV show?
Sex and the City and ER. Really addict with those show.
What's under your bed?
Pack of Reflex A4 white paper, handy place to put it..hihihi
Which CD is burning a hole in your CD player?
The Cranberries, the best of it
What's the most romantic thing you've ever done for a guy?
Bikin lukisan buat mantanku pas 2nd year anniversary kita, cuman sayang udah dibakar ama dia pas kita bubaran.
Which daggy movie/TV show are you ashamed to admit you love?
Sex and the City-nya kaum Gay,Queer As Folk. Lucu,vulgar tapi juga full of lesson about life.
What smell do you hate?
Bau bunga, ama bau kematian.Emang kematian ada baunya,hahhaha, maksa deh.
What's driving you absolutely crazy at the moment?
Sekarang sih lagi adem ayem, tapi kmaren sempet gila bentar pas dapet kabar ada yg pregnant.
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me at 1:57 PM
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me at 11:31 AM
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Good Morning...Everybody.
Morning apaan? Orang udah jelas2 jam 2 siang masih juga dibilang siang,hihihihi. Tadi bangun jam setengah 12an, semalem bobo jam 4 sih. Semalem balik jam setengah 3, trus ngembat bihun goreng punya Fajar,hehehe. Bangun tidur, trus bikin coffee ama toast. Abis gitu nelpon rumah, ngobrol ama Papa-Mama ama mbak Ly. Diceritain tentang nakalnya si Billa, duh,jadi kangen ama ponakan satu itu.
Tau..nih,males ngapa2in. Mo nyari2 source dulu deh buat blog. Prima barusan datang. Hahahha,semalem dia kerumah jam 11 dan ngebel2 tapi gak ada yg bukain pintu.Untung dia gak nungguin aku ampe pulang, bisa mati kaku dia pas aku balik. Eh,si Onel apa kabarnya ya? Mo nelpon,tapi gak ada phone card nih. Pengen tau aja, gimana hasil final hearingnya. I hope he's allright. |
me at 11:29 AM
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| Friday, June 13, 2003 |
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Your Mystical.. Your the most Normal. yet have the
most strange things happen to you.. ever wonder
why.. no.. you already know why.. your perfect
in your own way..
~What Type of Person R U~ (for Girlz)
brought to you by Quizilla
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me at 2:58 PM
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Someday I'll grow old and lose my style
But it will all be worth the while
Someday I'll die and disappear
But my soul and spirit will still be here
Someday I'll return with a gift for you
Everlasting love and happiness so true
taken from Dolly Mag, June 03 |
me at 2:45 PM
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Hey...just back from campus, it was so cool outside. Mo mandi abis gini, ntar malem mo dinner ditempat Bobby. What? Dia nelpon semalem dan ngundang dinner, dia mo masakin aku katanya. Lagian aku juga perlu ngomong ama dia. Just wanna tell him that I can be his friend but not a girlfriend. We can talk, go out, and have fun, BUT..don't expect me to become your girlfriend. It's not going to happen,ok. I told you, I don't wanna a boyfriend now, I'm not ready yet. I just need someone around to enjoying the time.
Oya tadi beli Dolly,majalah ABG..hehhehe. Suka aja baca tu majalah, isinya light tapi cukup fun dibaca. Ada fashion-nya, tips make-up ;) dan ada poem side juga. Tapi akhir2 ini lebih suka beli Cleo ama Cosmopolitan, lebih masuk aja ke umur...hahahhaha. Oiya, nemu satu poem bagus di Dolly edisi terbaru yg baru aku beli. Bagus deh..
We only think what we want to see
We only see what we want to feel
We only feel what we want to touch
We only touch what we want to imagine
We only imagine what we want to desire
We only desire what we want to dream
We only dream what we want to need
Need or not need, we only like what's on our minds |
me at 2:34 PM
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| Thursday, June 12, 2003 |
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Tadi dikelas Advertising Campaign Studies, kelar lebih cepet dari jam biasanya. Trus Gary, ngajakin kita relaxation. Jadi dia megang ubun2 kepala kita satu2, trus disuruh merem sambil bayangin sesuai yang dia omongin. Pertama,kita bayangin ada jendela gede, trus diluar jendela ada burung terbang dan kita disuruh ngikutin. Kayak perjalanan gitu deh, akhirnya kita brenti di pantai. Disitu ada seseorang yang kita sayangi yang lama gak pernah ketemu. Kita disuruh nyamperin, give the biggest hug trus bilang perasaan kita ke tu orang. Tau gak,apa yang muncul di bayanganku? Who else, of course Funetta. Dan aku bilang, " Aku tau, kenyataan kadang bisa 180 derajat dari yg kita bayangkan. Tapi, aku gak mau menyesalinya, karena itu gak ada artinya. Mulai sekarang, jalani aja apa yg harus kamu jalanin. Dan aku juga akan jalanin kehidupanku sendiri. Ada satu hal yg kamu harus tau. Kalo kamu ngerasa kesepian dan takut untuk melangkah, liatlah ke belakang. Aku akan ada disana dan tersenyum untukmu. Mungkin suatu saat,kamu gak bisa liat aku karena banyak orang berjalan didepanku. But believe me, I always be there, ready to wipe your tears."
Abis relaxation itu, badan dan pikiran jadi relax banget. Sumpah, gak percaya juga awalnya, tapi pas udah nyobain..bener2 kerasa banget. Abis kelas, ngobrol2 ama Will di kampus. Tadi juga sempet ngopi ama Will, Clint plus Brad. Pesen hot capucinno ama hot croissant plus butter, yummy. Hari ini dingin juga, anginnya gede lagi. Benernya mo kerumah Dad tapi karena mesti nyelesain assignment,gak jadi deh. Besok aja pulang kuliah, mampir kesana bentar. Sabtu ini Bobby ngajakin jalan, tapi aku mo menghindari dia dulu deh seminggu ini. Duh,laper nih...it's dinner time. Mo makan dulu deh. |
me at 3:56 PM
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Hehehhe..masih di library kampus nih, cuman mo posting satu poem yang aku barusan bikin di kelas Advertising Campaign Studies. Abis si Gary, dosen endut nulisnya kecil dan jelek banget sih, mana kebaca ama mata minusku. Meski udah pake kacamata, tetep aja yang keliatan cuman coretan2 gak jelas doang. Ya udah,daripada pusing2 maksain mata, aku nulis2 sendiri aja. And this is the result, another sad poem.
...rasa itu akan selalu ada
meski waktu tlah mengukir temboknya
dan langit ratusan kali mengubah wajahnya
...rasa itu akan selalu ada
walau ribuan hari menguburnya
dan rasa baru datang mengikutinya
...dan rasa itu selalu akan ada
karena yang lain hanyalah hiasan
hanya sekedar perhentian sementara
...dan aku hanya ingin mengenangnya.
Ok deh, mo pulang dulu nih. Mo beli pulsa, ama beli metcard buat naek train pulang. Damn, besok mesti ngumpulin satu assignment nih, begadang lagi deh.
So...I better turn off the computer now.
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me at 12:49 PM
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| Wednesday, June 11, 2003 |
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Capek nih,mo udahan dulu deh. Lagian mesti ngerjain assignment. So, I'll see you tomorrow. Mo mandi..mo nyegerin kepala dulu, berat banget. Dengerin last song of today dulu ya, That I Would Be Good by Alanis Morissette
that I would be loved even when I numb myself
that I would be good even when I am overwhelmed
that I would be loved even when I was fuming
that I would be good even if I was clingy
that I would be good even if I lost sanity
that I would be good
whether with or without you
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me at 4:09 PM
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I cry for the times that you were almost mine,
I cry for the memories I've left behind,
I cry for the pain, the lost, the old, the new...
I cry for the times I thought I had you*
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me at 4:04 PM
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Aduh, kayaknya aku kemakan omonganku sendiri nih. Aku dulu pernah bilang, pengen dapet cowok yang bisa nemenin aku selama disini, sampe November aja. Ternyata setelah aku sendiri udah lupa ama keinginanku itu, semalem akhirnya aku dapet satu cowok yang bisa dan mau nemenin aku, bahkan gak cuman sampe November aja, dia maunya selamanya. Anjirr...jadi gak ngerti deh sekarang. Namanya Bobby, orang Canada tapi udah dapet permanent resident disini. He's nice, treat me really good, respect me, and adore me. Hahahahha, don't ask me why. I don't have any idea how can he falling in love with me. Semalem, kita ketemu, trus dinner di Vietnamesse Resto, abis gitu ke pub ngobrol semaleman. Trus sebelum dia nganterin aku pulang, dia nanya, "Can I meet you again this weekend?" Nah loo..hahahahhaha. Gak tau deh, he's just not my cup of tea. Karena aku gak tau mesti jawab apa, aku cuman bilang, "Let see,ok." Dia cuman bisa senyum kecut doang dengernya, trus bilang," I like you. You are gorgeous, smart, bold, funny and so straightforward. That's why I'm falling in love with you and hope you wanna be with me."
Hahhahaha...bullshit!!
Sekarang aku malah bingung, gak tau mesti gimana. Sometime, when you wish for something, you don't think twice before say it. Then, when you have it, you get confused and realise that it's not what you really want. That's why, careful with what you wish for.
I had a nice time last night, I really do. But now I realise, it's just not me. I don't know, I'm really don't know what to do. Don't wanna hurt anybody, don't wanna lie to myself, and the most, I don't wanna have anything to do with guys, except with someone. Gosh, help me!! |
me at 1:18 PM
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| Tuesday, June 10, 2003 |
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DARE TO BELIEVE
EVERYBODY KNOWS...
You can't be all things to all people.
You can't do all things at once.
You can't do all things equally well.
You can't do all things better than everyone else.
Your humanity is showing just like everyone else's. SO...
You have to find out who you are, and be that.
You have to decide what comes first, and do that.
You have to discover your strengths, and use them.
You have to learn not to compete with others,
Because no one else is in the contest of "being you."
THEN...
You will have learned to accept your own uniqueness.
You will have learned to set priorities and make decisions.
You will have learned to live with your limitations.
You will have learned to give yourself the respect that is due,
And you'll be a most vital mortal.
DARE TO BELIEVE...
That you are a wonderful, unique person.
That you are a once-in-all-history event.
That it's more than a right, it's your duty, to be who you are.
That life is not a problem to solve, but a gift to cherish.
And you'll be able to stay one up on what used to get you down.
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me at 2:02 PM
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Do I need a boyfriend? Even though this quiz said "No", but actually I really do. Who can live alone? I think, it's not that I don't need boyfriend, but I don't want a boyfriend right now, cause I don't wanna walk in that path for a while. SINGLE IS GOOD
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me at 11:21 AM
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me at 11:19 AM
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AQUARIUS -January 20 February 18 .
You are noble and kind and dislike losing control over your emotions. It is very rare for you to get angry. You are also the pacifier in situations that involve arguments. It is always your endeavour to be perfect and socially correct in your behaviour and attitude, but if misunderstood and slighted you can give in to an angry outburst. You will shout and scream and then walk out from the scene. You cannot easily forget the situation and will be bitter about it for a long time.
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me at 11:09 AM
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Hari ini, ke kampus tapi skip kelas pertama. Lagian cuman dikelas cuman ngumpulin assignment doang kok, khan punya aku udah aku kumpulin minggu kemaren. Tau tuh..aku yang terlalu rajin ato yang laennya pada males. Anyway...I'll try to finish all the tasks on time, don't care with the others. Semalem gak bisa bobo lagi nih, kayaknya insomniaku tambah parah aja. Bisa bobo jam 2an, trus jam 4 udah bangun dan susah untuk bobo lagi. Akhirnya tewas lagi jam 6an ampe jam 10. Pagi2 Ian sms, karena aku cuekin, gak lama dia nelpon, "Selamat Pagi,Feby."
Bangun2, badan rasanya gak enak semua. Sekarang lagi di library kampus, utak-utik website lagi seperti biasa. Bosen ama web counternya, makanya ganti ama yang baru. Janjian juga ama Dana di library, dia mo minjem handout Copywriting-ku. Dia muncul dengan topi nelayannya, lucu juga sih, cuman gak biasanya aja dia pake topi. Ternyata, dia lagi gak pake make-up dan matanya sipit abis. Hahhahaha...kebanyakan mabok tuh. Gak lama dia cabut, setelah aku jelasin tentang assignment yang mesti dia kerjain. Gila...tuu anak, dalam waktu gak sampe 3 mingguan, mesti ngumpulin sekitar 7 assignment, belum lagi test2 ama presentasi. Good luck deh, aku ngebayanginnya aja ngeri. Semalem ditelpon Bobby lama, ngajakin ketemu entar malem. Liat ntar deh...moodku suka gak jelas akhir2 ini. Eh, si Tia sms aku juga semalem, crita abis clubbing ama Rezia weekend kemaren. I wish I could be there with all of you,Girls. Laper nih, udah jam 2 siang. Mo ngopi dulu deh, ama beli sushi...udah lama gak makan sushi.
Have a nice day..Everybody.
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me at 11:05 AM
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| Monday, June 09, 2003 |
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Sunrise - You seek to learn all you can so that you
may teach the wisdom of the world to others.
You enjoy tranquility and peaceful beauty, and
like to feel at one with the world.
When are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
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me at 4:27 PM
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Hari ini aku bangunnya siang banget. Semalem, abis chat ama Noon, trus gak bisa bobo ampe pagi. Kemaren sore, akhirnya kita nyuci baju juga. Abis gitu, beli pizza trus nonton. Benernya mo nonton Fast and Furious 2, tapi di cinemanya belum maen, akhirnya nonton Matrix 2 deh. Aku suka computer animation-nya makanya nonton 2 kali gak masalah. Lagian, aku suka Keanu Reeves, sejak di maen di film My Sweet November. He's remain me of someone. Oiya, kemaren pas ngobrol ama Ian, aku kok jadi terharu ya ama dia. Gak nyangka aja dia bakal segitunya ama aku. Dia bilang, klo aku pulang ntar, dia mo ke Surabaya biar bisa ketemu aku. Ok, just come but don't expect anything, hihihihi..itu yang aku bilang kedia. Kemaren juga chat ama Rezia dan dia nganjurin aku buat berbuat sesuatu. Pikir..pikir, akhirnya aku lakuin juga. Dan pagi ini, aku seeennnnneeeng banget. Padahal sebelumnya masih BT, tapi sekarang senyum mulu..hehhehehe. Akhirnya aku tau klo apa yang bikin aku sedih kemaren itu gak bener. Rez, makasih buat dorongannya kemaren. You know, how glad I am today.
I don't know, should I feel happy or sorry for that? But, from the bottom of my heart, I feel sooo relieved. Benernya gak boleh gitu ya, tapi gimana dong...emang gitu kok kenyataannya. Mo lunch dulu deh, laper.
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me at 12:44 PM
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| Sunday, June 08, 2003 |
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Love can make you happy
Love can make you sad
Love can make you have feelings that you never had
Love can make you smile
Love can make you frown
Love can make you do things when you're feeling down
Love can make you weak
Love can make you strong
Love can make you right, or it can make you wrong
Love can make you live
Love can make you die
Love can make you ask the question "why"?
Love can make you laugh
Love can make you cry
Love can break your heart when someone says good-bye. |
me at 11:48 AM
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Some people say love is holding on, some say letting go
And some say love is everything, but some say they don't know
If I should live forever and all my dreams come true
My memories of love will be of YOU |
me at 11:27 AM
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| Saturday, June 07, 2003 |
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langit diluar jendela kamarku menghitam
ada sedikit awan di ujung sana,tapi samar
lalu perlahan hujan turun membasahinya
dan langitpun menangis bersamaku
ketika impian tak lagi ada
hanya segenggam kerinduan yang tersisa
cuman itu yang yang kupunya
kan kujaga selamanya
luka ini mungkin sementara
suatu saat pasti kan binasa
tapi rindu ini kan selalu ada
karena hanya ini yang tersisa |
me at 6:38 PM
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It's weekend!! Tadi jam 10 pagi,lagi enak2nya bobo, hp bunyi. Ternyata Dad. Cuman mo bilang klo ada surat buat aku dan dia ama Mom mo maen kerumah siang ini. Abis itu gak bisa bobo lagi. Bangun, have a breaky trus nelpon Papa. Selamat Ulang Tahun,Papa. Nelpon bentar soalnya Papa lagi makan soto ditempat langganannya, trus aku nelpon rumah Cemara. Gila...rame banget, semua keluarga pada ngumpul buat lunch party-nya Papa. Jadi ngiri pengen ada disana, bayangin nasi kuning bikinin Mama...yummy gummy pokoknya. Jam 2an, Mom and Dad udah dateng. Padahal aku lagi bikin pancake tadi..ya udah, kita ngobrol di kitchen sambil nggodain aku yang nggoreng pancake. Seru juga dengerin berita2 seputar rumah lamaku dulu. Ketawa2 dan seperti biasa, aku gak bisa gak nggodain Dad semenit aja. Ada aja bahan yang bisa bikin kita ketawa2. Actually, I'm kind a miss the giggles that I used to have in that house. Tapi klo disuruh balik kesana lagi pasti gak mau deh,hehehe. Thanks for the fruit pie,Mom. It's really yummy. You didn't forget my taste yet.
Tadi ngobrol bentar ama mbak Ly. Dia bilang, aku tuh bego banget. "Ngapain mesti nanya2 soal 'dia' lagi,cuman bikin sakit ati aja. Udahlah, mending gak usah tau kabarnya lagi. Tetap mengingat dia dengan kenangan indahnya aja." Dan abis gitu, aku jadi mikir bener juga ya. Aku gak mau menyiksa perasaanku lagi. Let me keep it as the best story I ever had in my life.
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me at 2:41 PM
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY...PAPA
Hope the happiness, success and health always be with you. I wish I can be there to celebrate it with all the family. |
me at 2:20 PM
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| Friday, June 06, 2003 |
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It's time to let you go
It's time to say good-bye
No more excuses, no more tears to cry
There's been so many changes
I've been so confused
All along you were the one
All the time I never knew
I want you to be happy
But it's so hard to let you go now, with all that could have been
I'll always have the memories
She'll always have you
Fate has a way of changing just when you don't want it to
Throw away the chains
Let love fly away
Till love comes again...I'll be okay
I know, she's the luckiest girl to finally won you. And I believe, you'll be a great father too. I'm happy for you, I really do. Thanks for made me understand what sacrifice is. |
me at 10:38 PM
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Gak kerasa udah mo weekend lagi, cepet banget ya waktu berjalan. Monday-Tuesday-Wednesday-Thursday-Friday..then WEEKEND. Kali ini weekend-nya panjang, soalnya Senin tanggal merah, jadi puas deh bangun siangnya...hehhehe. Tapi tetep aja gak bisa nyantei2 banget, soalnya masih ada assignment yang mesti diselesain.
Kemaren aku sms Praptie dan crita dikit apa yang aku rasain saat itu, dan tadi pagi dia bales sms dan kata2nya bener2 menampar mukaku. Jika Tuhan memberikan berkahNya, Dia pasti akan memberikan berkahNya. Apa yang menjadi milikNya tak akan menjadi milikmu tanpa seijinNya.. Aku baca sms dia pas lagi di train mo kuliah. Dan waktu itu aku juga lagi dengerin MP3-nya Trademark yg I'm Not Supposed to Love U Anymore. Mungkin bener ya, I'm not supposed to love him anymore. I really have to let him go. Dan mulai bener2 belajar untuk menerima kenyataan. Belajar untuk mencintai lagi. Mungkin untuk sementara aku bakal ngerasa miserable for awhile, but I'll be okay. I know, I can get through this and someday, there will be a justice for me. There will be someone new who want me to be a part of his life. Someone that will never turn me down and always be there for me.
I really miss him badly, no matter what. But everytime I heard something about him, it's always hurt me. But I can't help myself to wondering is he doing alright, somewhere out there. Aku capek mengejar bayangan yang semakin menggila dipikiranku. Aku capek mengikuti perasaan yang semakin lama semakin menyakitkan ini. Aku juga capek membiarkan satu potong berita saja bisa membuat insomniaku semakin parah. Sekarang, aku mau membiarkan apa yang sudah hilang untuk pergi.
It's time to lying in my comfy bed, but wanna listen my last song of today first, I'm Not Supposed to Love U Anymore by Trademark.
I shouldn't care and wonder where and how you are
but I can hide this hurt inside my broken heart
I'm fighting back emotions that I've never fought before
'cause I'm not supposed to love you anymore
I'm fighting back emotions I've never fought before
'cause I'm not supposed to love you anymore
My sky still cloudy, Funetta. |
me at 10:13 PM
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Hari ini weather-nya gak bagus. Udah mendung,dingin, mana anginnya kenceng banget lagi. Hari ini aku juga presentasi Market Research dan semuanya berjalan lancar. Sekarang ujan, untung udah nyampe rumah. Gak kebayang masih dijalan dengan cuaca kayak gini. Tadi dengan kostum waitress (white shirt,black pants and Nike shoes), groupku berhasil dapet mark paling bagus. Lega juga sih, kerja keras kita gak sia2 selama ini. Meski hari ini benernya aku males banget keluar kamar, but I have to do what I have to do. Don't wanna let my problem ruined everything. Life move on, no matter what.
Gak mau mikirin soal kemaren, berusaha ngelupain semuanya meski aku tau gak gampang. Kemaren malem sempet down banget dan males ngapa2in, tapi tetep maksain diri buat nyiapin bahan buat presentasi hari ini. See, I'll do what I have to do. And I'll say what I have to say, eventhough it kill me inside. Dan semalem pas lagi drop banget, guees who called me? IAN. Yup, dia nelpon soalnya dia sms berkali2 tapi aku cuekin. Asli, males banget benernya ngomong ama dia, tapi aku khan udah bilang, I'll say what I have to say, don't wanna hurt others just to heal my wounds. |
me at 3:36 PM
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IKUT BERDUKA CITA BUAT MENINGGALNYA BAPAKNYA MBAK HENI.
Smoga arwahnya diterima disisi Tuhan YME dan mbak Heni sekeluarga dikasi ketabahan menghadapi semuanya.
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me at 3:26 PM
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| Thursday, June 05, 2003 |
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Today, I feel like I'm the stupidest girl in the world. I feel like I'm just paying my ass for my own feeling. Not because I did all what I have to do. Not because I admitted that I can't get over him. It's also not because I still alone and try to keep the dream that already past. No...not because all of that. It's because today, a few minutes ago, I found out that.... :(( Don't know where to start it, but it's really hurt me a lot. I don't understand, why I'm still keep thinking that it worth to let his shadow come and stay in my life. Why I spoilt my feeling and let it grow bigger and bigger each day. But today, it's like I've been knock out with the biggest hammer ever made, and it went straight into my heart. Smash my hope and dream into thousand of pieces :(
Anyway, I know it will happen soon or later. I will hear this kind of news for sure. But, why now? I thought, he doesn't love her. I thought, he loves me. I thought, justice will be come to us. I thought, what suppose to be happen will be happen, but not this. So, don't wanna think and say anything now. Feel like a shit. I am a shit. That's why I deserve to get shit. |
me at 2:08 PM
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I'm lying here on the floor where you left me
I think I took too much
I'm crying here,
What have you done?
I thought it would be fun
Where I can run, just as fast as I can
To the middle of nowhere
To the middle of my frustrated fears
And I swear, you're just like a pill
Instead of making me better
You keep making me ill
You keep making me ill
Just Like a Pill by Pink
I love Pink. Her song make me feel release and realise that I'm not the only one in this world. Mo siap2 kuliah dulu deh. Mendung nih,kayaknya mo ujan. Damn, I love rain but I hate getting wet. I wish my Funetta here to warm the day up. Come on, stop talking about him!! There's something that already change, but still something else left that will remain forever. |
me at 8:18 AM
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| Wednesday, June 04, 2003 |
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Tadi ketemuan ama anak2 kelas, trus ngopi bareng. Abis gitu aku nonton Matrix,rame2. Bagus kok, computer animation-nya apalagi,keren banget. Ampe bengong2 ngeliatnya. Trus abis nonton,beli mini disc lagi. Kali ini beli warna purple, light green ama light blue. Abis nyelesain assignment Retailer nih buat besok.
Udah ah..lagi gak tau mo nulis apa nih. Last song of today I'll be Missing you by Puff Daddy
Every step I take, every move I make
Every single day, every time I pray
I'll be missing you
Thinkin of the day, when you went away
What a life to take, what a bond to break
I'll be missing you
Missing you much, Funetta |
me at 7:50 PM
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Maybe some people just aren’t meant to be in our lives forever
Maybe some people are just passing through
It’s like some people just come through our lives to bring us something: a gift, a blessing, a lesson we need to learn
And that’s why they’re here... you’ll have that gift forever. |
me at 7:34 PM
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| Tuesday, June 03, 2003 |
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Pulang kuliah tadi, nonton "Secretary" ama Will. Sebelumnya ngopi dulu seperti biasa, cerita2, ketawa2, dan gak ketinggalan ledek2an...hihihihi. Tadi si Jhon, anak baru dikelas juga ngajakin clubbing ama anak2 sekelas. Gak tau sih, liat ntar aja deh. Capek nih, mo ngerjain assignmnet lagi kok males banget. Besok aja kali ya..ato ntar malem aja deh. Tau nih..lagi males ngapa2in. Mo baca Cosmopolitan dulu ya. Enough for today,I think. Last song of tonight, Tear by Red Hot Chili Peppers. Night..night..Everybody.
This is my time, this is my tear
I can see clearly now
That this is not a place for playing solitaire
Tell me where you want me
This is my time, this is my tear
All in all I'm
Loving every rise and fall
The sun will make I will take
Breath to be sure of this
In the end
All will be forgiven when
Surrender rises high and I
Gave what I came to give
Say it now because you never know |
me at 8:00 PM
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Sometimes it's hard to face reality
You feel the greatest feeling every time you're with them
You can't sleep just because you'll see them tomorrow
Every time you're with them it's like a moment in heaven
But soon enough the magic disappears
Your heart is breaking and tears constantly come
Every beat of your hears hurts from all the pain
You wish you were hidden from all the world, then maybe all this pain would go away
But sometimes it's hard to face reality
LOVE..it's not always what it seems
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me at 5:41 PM
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I watch the world through curious eyes and wonder up at the star filled skies and dream about wondrous things tomorrow promises to bring
I keep my secrets hopes and dreams far away on bright moonbeams and out beyond horizons far
I wish upon a shooting star
I journey to new worlds unmet with treasures undiscovered
Yet my dreams take me where rainbows are when I follow my own star |
me at 4:49 PM
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| Monday, June 02, 2003 |
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| Ngerjain assignment nih...BT deh!! Oiya, tadi gak jadi presentasi soalnya ada satu anak digroupku yang gak masuk. Jadi,Sarah abis dirampok Sabtu kemaren. Dia khan kerja malem di McD dan ada junkies yang nodong pake pisau, ngeri ya. Makanya dia gak masuk tadi, soalnya dia mesti ke lawyer segala, gak tau buat apaan. Padahal aku udah di train station waktu ditelpon Rhiannon dan dikasi tau gak jadi presentasi,mana aku udah pake seragam waitress-ku lagi. Ya udah, kita cuman ngumpulin assignment doang, presentasinya diundur Jumat. Abis itu cabut dari kampus, assignment Copywriting-ku belum jadi nih, padahal mesti dikumpulin besok. Duh,deadline-nya mepet banget sih. Sabtu kemaren, liat jeans cute banget di Sportgirl, lagi sale nih critanya. Benernya udah mo beli saat itu juga, cuman inget khan perginya ama Fajar, kasian klo dia mesti nungguin. Ya udah, tadi dari kampus langsung cabut ke sana, jalannya ngebut lagi, takut tuu jeans udah ilang. Cuman satu soalnya, kemaren udah aku sembunyiin di rak paling belakang sih, tapi tetep aja gak jaminan. Untungnya, sampe sana, tuu jeans masih ada dan tersenyum menyambut kedatanganku..hihihi. Ya udah, abis nyobain dan bayar, langsung cabut pulang. Kali ini jalannya ngebut juga,soalnya takut ngeliat barang2 laennya di mall..khan lagi puasa shopping critanya. Mo mandi dulu deh, keburu malem..keburu males tepatnya..hehehhe. |
me at 4:22 PM
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Where do dreams hide
Maybe by your bedside.
Somewhere maybe you could see.
Or in the sky flying free.
Or far away in a foreign land.
Or under your feet beneath the sand.
Dreams are everywhere, you see.
They are in you and me.
Dreams are like clouds in the sky,
For you can reach them if you try.
And they will never leave a day,
For dreams unfilled will always stay.
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me at 1:47 PM
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| Sunday, June 01, 2003 |
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You...and...Me. We are two different person who has two different way. I'm totally respecting your decision eventhough it's mean I have to cut my heart with the reality. My blood and the pain are not as bad as your pains. I always proud to be part of your life, for once.
I'll have another chance, I'll find another guy, I'll see another day and I'll build another world, and I'll find another life just like you told me to, I'll find another love...but there will never be...another you..."
Always you,Funetta. |
me at 7:17 PM
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I believe, everything that already happen will make me stronger. Make my heart bigger and my blood thicker. No matter what, bad or good..has it's own meaning. So, if tonight I feel little bit sad and blue, I don't want this make me weak. Just wipe the tears in the heart, gaze up and try to smile. Tomorrow,it will be better.
Besok presentasi Market Research nih. Jadi,besok kita satu kelompok bakalan dress up. Kostumnya, kemeja putih,celana item ama sepatu Nike. Hahhaha...sounds not really match, but that's my group's decision, what can I do anyway. Benernya aku gak punya kemeja putih,selain gak suka warna putih, kemeja putih kesannya kayak seragam SMA aja. Ya udah, terpaksa bobol dompet lagi Jumat kemaren, dan akhirnya aku berhasil dapet kemeja putih yang modelnya simple tapi keren juga. Lagian harganya juga gak seberapa mahal, jadi bobol dompetnya gak maksa2 amat. Jadi, besok aku kuliah dengan kostum ala waitress deh, tinggal make dasi kupu ama bawa nampan doang...hahahhaha. Benernya hari ini aku ngerasa capek aja. Maksain otak buat nyari ide ngerjain assignment, and you know what, I think my brain is dry now. Serius, tadi siang ampe nungging2,muter2,jongkok2...eh,ide yang muncul gitu2 aja, gak ada yang oke,sebel deh.
Tadi pagi pas bangun sempet mimisan dikit. Sempet panik juga sih, takut knapa2 lagi. Kecapean aja kali, soalnya akhir2 ini aku kurang tidur. Bobonya pagi mulu, itu juga gak langsung pules, pake acara ngeliatin langit dari balik jendela dulu baru bisa bobo setengah jam kemudian. That's the best part of my new room. Udah lama banget pengen bobo sambil ngeliatin langit, kesampean deh sekarang :)). Ya udah ah,capek, mo bobo cepet malem ini. Besok kuliah pagi dan lagi percuma maksain ngerjain assignment, daripada tambah parah. Nyobain nelpon Will tapi gak bisa mulu. Mana pulsaku lagi abis lagi, jadi gak sms. Tadi surfing internet juga seharian, selain cari bahan assignment, liat2 blog orang laen juga. Gila...pada keren2 ya blognya, punyaku masih standard banget deh. Gak pa2 deh, rumput di rumah tetangga emang keliatan lebih ijo khan. Ntar deh pelan2 dibagusin blog-nya. Tuu khan udah ngantuk, padahal jam 10 aja belum..masih kurang 10 menit. Cuman punggungku pegel nih, udah stretching terus dari tadi. Jadi inget Onel, dia bilang kalo stretching itu kerjaannya orang males...hahhahahaha. Klo capek masa gak boleh ngulet2 sih. Bodo ah. Bikin coffee dulu ya...
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me at 6:55 PM
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I want to be happy knowing he is happy but how can I be happy knowing I am not the one making him smile..
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me at 11:57 AM
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No more words, no more lies
Let it go, before it dies
Hear the words, feel the pain
Last of love, dies in vain
Sweet in start, bitter in end
Hearts will break, never bend
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me at 11:29 AM
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